[ oh obligatory fit check instead of sexy angel costume! though at least now i can mention that yves was probably covered in bandages beneath his angel costume earlier so it wasn't even that scandalous. if nothing else, it just shows that the lace half mask he was wearing wasn't just part of the costume - it's an outfit staple. yay!
w can be wherever she wants to be girl and yves will just glance over when he sees her, offering up a grin ]
Looks like we didn't need to make a ruckus after all. Find anything interesting?
But I felt like saying thank you for your help today. I think it must've been hard to be questioned and distrusted, but you still tried to find answers with us.
Then... if you ever get too frustrated, then you can let me know and I'll try to help. I know everyone means well, but I don't want you to have to deal with that alone.
They're all reliable mercs. Usually experts in recon, mine-laying, mapping paths... and, of course, the backup to make sure those guys can do their jobs.
One of my squad leads, Crane-- we lost him in the last mission, but he always ran a good crew. Tire's been doing a good job in his place, and Bolt and Rust have really picked up the slack.
Depends! Last time... that assignment was to defend an objective and keep an eye out on the surrounding area. I left the boys in charge of that for a little solo work.
[ what a trial! yves is over a the bar and he's got a mug of beer with him. it's still mostly full, like he's drinking it slowly for once. there's an empty chair nearby with another mug, along with a little photo frame.
when he notices he has company, he perks up with a smile and waves. ]
Hi Wiš'adel. Want a drink? I'll grab you something.
Neither are mine. At least I found a couple decent people to spar with, but I can't do that 24/7 either, you know? Being dead really is a little boring!
I've always known what I am. Besides-- I like myself just fine that way, and I don't really feel like changing it, even if some little freak lizard disagrees.
Then I guess you think like they do. They were saying some of the same things, like... whether there's a hard limit to what someone can have done and still get redeemed, or whether having complicated circumstances changes that limit.
All this to say... if there's anything I can do to help you, Wiš'adel, please let me know. I want you to return to life, but I don't want you to have to sacrifice being you either.
I wanted to be loved. I thought I'd try to find someone to love me, but I gave up after a while. [ after all the heartbreak, and he's still given up. hence not looking for dates ]
And... I don't know if that's reason enough for me to try again.
Otherwise, I've fulfilled my family's responsibility and get to accomplish more here than I did on my island... so I don't know if I want to go back.
All right, what is it? Secret serial killer past? Some other heinous crime you pulled off by looking like some sweet, innocent guy? It'd have to be something like that, right?
[well. wiš'adel with memories would refuse on principle. without-?
she sort of remembers, vaguely, the sense that there had been a person who seemed to care. someone who she, in turn, had been forced to hurt. who she'd forgotten. she definitely cannot remember touching anyone in a nonviolent way.
after a long pause, she accepts it, because what the hell-- she might as well try it out.
(she's missing a couple fingers across both hands btw.)]
yves's hold is gentle. he doesn't do anything to squeeze or jostle her remaining fingers or palm, instead letting his own fingers just curl so very lightly over hers in a featherlight hold she can still escape from ]
... I'm glad you made it here alive. I'm sorry for the hurt it must've taken to make the journey.
but it's-- okay, it's not so bad, she guesses. especially the way it's left light, not something to entrap her in (never again, ever, nobody else controls her.)
she doesn't tighten the hold at all, but she also doesn't pull away.]
[she takes a sip of her drink, and slowly exhales.]
What I'm used to-- it's a little more push and pull. I leave my squadmate behind and tell her she's bait, she turns it around and bails on me first, but we both know we can handle each other's shit. That kind of thing. And you...? It's like you can be pushed and pushed at without it mattering at all.
I'd never leave you behind, but I wouldn't blame you if you did with me. I'd rather protect you. It's not like I want to die—but I don't see a point in holding grudges when you're doing what it takes to survive.
[ so there's no problem mentioning it right? especially when he already said that there are things that he can't feel.
she's right. he is hollow. ]
I decided that when I was younger... after I got my scar. I'd try to love everyone, in hopes that maybe one day I could find someone who'd love me back. When I did that...
I discarded anything that would get in the way of that. Anything that could make me harder to love. So anger, spite, contempt... [ he shakes his head ] I don't feel those things anymore.
Though I know I'm abnormal for it. It's why I don't disagree with you.
[ that his brain is bad. that he's crazy. he knows. he's always known. ]
You wanted to be loved so badly you just... stamped out parts of yourself completely? It's fine if the person they love isn't the one you originally would've been, just as long as they manage to love you at all?
[ he smiles a little bit here, but it's more rueful now. taking a longer sip from his glass ]
And now it feels like I've tricked everyone here into caring about me, even though I know it's not that simple. I don't want to turn away their kindness.
If that's really how you've made yourself...? I wouldn't call it a trick. To yourself, maybe, but I'm pretty sure you know most of the people here would've cared anyway.
[hell, they fuss over her, and everyone knows what she's like.]
If you ask me, it's more sad than selfish, buuut I don't see love as something worth making yourself less for.
I think you did, sure. Emotions like that-- they're what people want sometimes. They'd want you to feel angry on their behalf, or they'd be fine with spite driving you to do something.
[sips again, before-]
You don't show anything negative, so what's the contrast in your positives? And if you try to love everyone... of course anyone would end up questioning whether they'd just be sharing that love of yours with everybody else.
I know. It's why I asked for you to feel angry on Adolphe's behalf for me.
[ sometimes he wishes he could be a person who could feel those things. ]
You're not wrong. I just don't know how to change who I am anymore.
[ he shattered his own brain and emotional processing in the face of trauma and then put it together desperately once already, he's not sure if he can do it again ]
[ he raises a brow at that and gives her a smile ]
The fact that you'd think to help at all is enough for me. [ even if she can't, the fact that there is a ghost of an offer in her words does mean a lot to him ]
Maybe I will one day. But... even if I don't, I'm lucky to have met the people I have.
[MEMSHARE JUMPSCARE etc etc etc here they are it's happening wow mirrors
what plays out is this. (scroll down to 'can you put a price on the life of a merc', skip over the little bit with just hoederer, and then hit the next page or just click here for the second part.)
she huffs out a little sound, almost amused, as she watches this play out.]
yves is from a terrible island, even if he'll deny it. but in that terrible island, so loved by death, he's still never seen war. he's seen illness and that resonates with him, he's seen orphans and he's seen people who try so very hard to save each other—but he's never seen war. the devastation of it. hospitals abandoned. rubble. ruin.
he breathes in and processes that thought before he looks to her ]
They weren't always gonna have someone to check on them anyway.
[after a second, she exhales a little sigh.]
I get feeling bad for them, but they're far from the only ones suffering, and you'd never be able to help everyone. They already got luckier than most, surviving together like that.
I did later, sure. There was an old guy with a huge Oripathy rock on his head-- he taught me how to make explosives, so I made sure to get damn good at it.
Before that? I mostly figured shit out on my own. Started taking on jobs when I was old enough to be taken seriously as a mercenary. [...] I don't know if the body I took my old knife from had a name or not, so... I couldn't really pick theirs up with their weapon. They were definitely a merc, though.
Ah... Is that the tradition? To take on the name of those who had the weapon before you...
But—I'm glad you were able to learn all that, even if it must've been difficult. [ a beat ] I suppose what I'm trying saying is that I'm glad you're still here.
she's going out of her way to keep him company so he just pauses and then frowns even though he's clearly turning red. he goes to stand in a corner.... ]
[ he's just pouting again because he knows he's being teased, even though the tips of his ears are still red. at least he's not leering like a pervert at all—scantily clad women don't bother him when he expects it ]
I think I'm becoming honored that you're so comfortable around me.
[ yves just goes to stay by the side of the water then - dipping the finger of his hand into the springs in hopes of some relief and finding... none at all ]
... hard to explain, like I'm sure you experienced too.
[ nods... he closes his eyes and tries to sort through them ]
My name is Yves. I'm from an island called Arpéchéle. The land beloved by Death. I... died when I was 17. [ a beat ] 22? [ uh oh ] I was used in a failed sacrifice by... my friend, Scien.
[ . . . he sinks down slightly at that, closing his eyes and letting his fingers settle into the water of the hot spring. focusing on that. only that. ]
I got kind of stuck on the boots list, since it's the only thing that seemed to give us a list of names for Zhongli's case. Plus, there was frosting on the bottom of the shoes and Zhongli also had frosting on the bottom of his shoes.
After that, I got lost in all the bruises and misdirection.
Oh. Ah, well... my theory is... he was in the funhouse with Gabriel and it seems like he hurt his hand by Friday morning. I think he might've punched one of the mirrors and lost a memory...
[ just. yeah. yves definitely has enough faith in his abilities to say that his current injuries absolutely would not stop him from putting up a fight ]
... but Marcoh at least knew all my injuries, yes. Nothing looked new to him.
So, just saying first off, it relies on ignoring the shoe list anyway. I know Mizu never got cleared, but it wouldn't be as hard to use a sword and get away with it as a gun, so I think he'd have used it if it was him? And it sounds like the rest of the list was fine. Dunno if this means it's just way off base, we saw how off I was with the stupid hints last time, but.
...so the, uh, letters one? The J, I, Q, T? T was obviously the tea party part. I heard Taair yelling about an eye?? [she was distracted bc i was backreading at con] And that leaves J, Q. Lot of food involved in that one, and a kitchen, right? I saw the doc never got checked over. I just didn't think it was gonna matter, he-- fuck it, we both know what's been going on, I didn't think he could see enough to kill a guy.
I mean... there was a lot of discussion about what Koharu could or couldn't do while blind, but she's 15. Jiao's a seasoned veteran...
I guess we could watch his behavior over the next week? Do you think that maybe he... ate a cookie that made both his feet bigger or something for the shoes?
[ where are we? out in the wild! it's probably the ballroom as yves is admiring the grandeur of it all with very much country bumpkin energy. oh to be a lil fish out of water in such a grand place
and when he sees w, he brightens up. despite everything, he really is so happy and fond of her and that comes through clear as day ]
[ help! he's a little amused, but unfortunately he's still just as sincere as ever! it's just a bit playful.... ]
I'm just going off of what little girls told me happens at dances in their storybooks? We'd play sometimes at the orphanage, and that's the most experience I've gotten.
[ and he'll gently rearrange their hands before reaching out to let his hand rest at the middle of her back politely, bringing them into the position for a very simple waltz. he matches the rhythm of the piano to the best of his ability, but he's clearly guessing ]
I think it depends on the people If some people are okay loving for a short time but knowing that their time together is still meaningful There's nothing wrong with that
But I'm happy to know that you'd want something long-term That's sweet
Well I wasn't entirely joking I think I'd be really lucky to get to fall in love with you Though I do think that there are probably people who'd suit you better than me
I don't think I'm that hard to understand My main goal is just to see you all happy And my side goal is to have a bit of my own fun along the way Today feels like a success for that
[ yikes! yves is just exploring one of the areas where the bodies were found, vibes apprehensive. he's more serious today than any other day and bc i forgot to mention it in curfew the night before, he does have a sword at his side again finally yay
Yeah. I've kept an eye on him this week, and he seems okay...? But honestly, knowing how this shit has been going for him, I almost think that might be a bad sign.
I mean, like... maybe it only seems like he's managing better, but not for the right reasons, I guess? Everything was rough enough on him that if something ended up afflicting him, maybe it'd have that kind of effect.
In the end, the only thing we can be sure of is evidence. We can keep names in mind for tomorrow, but I think that focusing on the concretes will make it easier.
[ the hypothesizing and theorizing and thinking about motive just don't work out very well ]
I don't know if the point's to make people unsure? I think he's just weirdly private about shit. Trying too hard to make sure people don't find things out about him.
[ maybe it did. as she gets closer, his feelings that were hard to read during trial are a lot clearer now that he's not immediately re-triggered by his own stupid actions'
there's guilt, a sense of failure, and so much self-hatred ]
I'm not a coward who lets other people handle my troubles.
[ he's the only person who knew. why would he just tell someone else? he's not someone who runs away from having to kill his friends when he's already done it ]
[ he really does have a tendency to try to solve things on his own, but that's just a result of what happens when you slowly but surely lose every person that you'd come to rely on
Not for me, technically. Ramiel's all worried about running out of time to resolve the issues here, and she said there's stuff they just don't learn until it comes up on Saturdays where they can hear it.
[the vibes are a little concerned and a lot "do not fucking say it i know you're thinking it don'ttt".]
So. She wants help getting info to the three of them. Theories too, not just stuff we think we know for sure.
Mm. I don't think people tell them that often about the things that happen on the Thursday journeys. At least, that's what I gleaned from when I spoke to them after mine.
[ yves looks a little tired like he hasn't slept well but who gives a shit about that! not me! someone ate what he wasn't supposed to again and the tattoos are just around on neon green text around his body glowing through his clothes because he dresses like a nun more than lucas does
- murdered more than one friend - left home country to ruin - in love with too many people - acts like a needy bottom when he's actually a switch
Ahaha, I don't mind either way. I know that sometimes people aren't always ready to handle their own emotions or open up to others... but whenever they are, I'd still like to return the favor.
I know, I know, that's not all there is to it, but that shit's just a mess. If nothing else, he needs to get some space from the whole situation, Hawke included.
I was going to. I've always planned on going back home if I go anywhere, so I hadn't thought about the possibility until you brought it up, you know...?
So I asked him about whether he'd consider going somewhere else, and it turned out I was pretty slow to that conversation. [so no, she never asked.] But I'll honestly take him going anywhere that isn't fucking Kirkwall.
[ anyway it's time to make it to the garden and he'll use the hand that's holding hers to raise it enough to guide her into a little twirl as they walk heho ]
Now I don't know if we're supposed to spend an entire date talking about other people and their problems.
What else do I wanna know... anything you'd be willing to give me. Why do you love explosives so much? What's your favorite memory? Who's your best friend?
Hm... well, besides them being the first kind of weapons I learned to work with after a knife, I like that they're an equalizer, you know? Arts are powerful, but they're only used to being countered by Arts in exchange! They don't know what kind of effort it takes to offset an explosion, but I know exactly how much explosive force will swallow up their casting.
[they're multifunctional, in several ways.]
I don't have a best friend at home, but here? Definitely Jiaoqiu.
[ ok iT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!! YVES IS MAKING HIS ROUNDS TO SEE PEOPLE and he's bringing a gift with him. it's a paper flower again, but this time in the shape of a lycoris, just like the ones on his halo. it has both red and black petals, and it truly looks so hilariously goth from someone so sunshiney
but he'll offer it out anyway ]
I know it's a been delicate and sappy, but will you accept a token from me?
Well, before they got freed, I would have been joining the myriad souls when I died... I've got no idea where they all went, or where Sarkaz souls go when we die now, but that's where I'm way more likely to end up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weekend 0 saturday
w can be wherever she wants to be girl and yves will just glance over when he sees her, offering up a grin ]
Looks like we didn't need to make a ruckus after all. Find anything interesting?
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she's taking a sip from a beer bottle before just pouring it out on the ground.]
It's fine, I guess. Found some stuff I needed, but it's still weird that it's so... quiet.
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Ah. What did you need...?
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[waggling the empty beer bottle.]
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Seems like there was a long line of people looking for the liquor. Myself included!
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[fair, tbh. if she drank much she would've too.]
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I wouldn’t say that. But more like… it’d be nice to at least relax with people and talk over a drink.
Even in a bad situation, people will at least commiserate over alcohol.
week 0 post-trial
sitting down next to wis'adel wherever she is ]
I don't know your drink of choice, Mademoiselle, but how does wine sound tonight?
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[wine is acceptable... he may sit.]
But only if you start using my name.
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Can you say it for me once? I want to make sure I get it right.
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[saying it slowly for his benefit as well...
it sounds like this btw.]
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Is that right?
[ offers her a glass with a smile ]
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[no it's correct she is simply like this
she takes the glass, just holding it for now.]
So, what, did you feel like celebrating or something?
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[ if he's being honest ]
But I felt like saying thank you for your help today. I think it must've been hard to be questioned and distrusted, but you still tried to find answers with us.
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Please. As if something like that would bother me.
[distrust? that's the default she's accustomed to.]
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Not at all?
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[ takes a sip of his own wine ]
... I understand in a way, too. So... that's why I still think I can say I'm grateful.
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[she waves a hand, sipping before she continues.]
I won't say you shouldn't still be grateful, though.
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Then please accept my thanks nonetheless.
It was a long day.
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Was he different at all on Thursday with you and Waner?
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[a shrug.]
He seemed fine, I guess? Let me do his nails.
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I think he's very obliging... so I really wouldn't say he was behaving out of the ordinary at all.
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Which is fine, because if he'd gotten all broken up about it after the running around he made us do, I would've been pissed!
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I just... want to know why. I hope he'll tell us. I'll probably go see him soon.
But it doesn't change that... Charlie's dead.
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[charlie dying was so 48 hours ago?]
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he laughs a little bit ]
Do you not mourn often, Wiš'adel?
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[she hums. taps her painted nails on the side of her glass.]
Let me put it this way. For Kazdel-born Sarkaz like me? We grew up without names, because there just wasn't any point in bothering.
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I see... My country was said to be beloved and cursed by Death - so I see what you mean.
It's different, when it is so commonplace for us.
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[there's just no point. you mourn forever, endlessly.]
Most of us don't grieve. We just get revenge.
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... a lot of people I know don't grieve either. They accept when death comes, and then they brush past it.
But I don't know... I'll still always miss that person that I won't get to see again.
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I love Marcoh.
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[what else did she expect.]
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But I like you too.
Why don't you get along?
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[hmmmm.]
Too soft.
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Do you think people won't survive if they're "too soft"?
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[ genuinely curious, just trying to understand. it is so unfamiliar to yves but he is doing his best ]
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[ but his tone is teasing... he's sure that wis'adel knows exactly how she comes off ]
... but I get it. You're just trying to exist too, right?
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[her, and every other sarkaz.]
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[ nods... ]
Then... if you ever get too frustrated, then you can let me know and I'll try to help. I know everyone means well, but I don't want you to have to deal with that alone.
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I'll pass! I can fight my own battles just fine.
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But it must get annoying.
[ just to borrow her own words? ]
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[but she definitely doesn't need anyone to help with that.]
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Has it always been like that?
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Because I like you.
I don't expect you to feel the same, but I do admire you. Is there any other reason to want to be friends with someone?
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[yves your fucking taste.]
I'm not promising it'll be easy.
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[ he's realistic ]
Even still, I don't think that means relationships fail to matter just because they might be short.
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[she shrugs, tail flicking.]
But I don't go into relationships 'just because', that's all.
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Then... is it because you're assigned to work in a team?
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One of my squad leads, Crane-- we lost him in the last mission, but he always ran a good crew. Tire's been doing a good job in his place, and Bolt and Rust have really picked up the slack.
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[ he nods in response ]
I'm sorry to hear about Crane. What do your missions normally entail?
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week 1, saturday
when he notices he has company, he perks up with a smile and waves. ]
Hi Wiš'adel. Want a drink? I'll grab you something.
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[she eyes the chair and mug, and... does Not sit in it like a jerk, actually.]
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he'll just go to stand and head over to the bar ]
Got a preference?
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[she drags over a different chair, just turning it around backwards to fold her arms on the backrest.]
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Yeah. I get that.
[ he'll just go to pick out a nice bottle of wine then, bringing it over with two glasses for them. he'll pour it for her and then go to sit ]
How're you feeling?
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[huffs, as she takes the glass and sips.]
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About which part?
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[pointing at him with her wine-holding hand. binch.]
Buuuut mostly Anders.
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[ he'll apologize for that but not much else ]
Ah... Because he can't stand the idea of losing someone so dear?
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[she decided early that she was a hawke anti actually.]
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[ for bad taste? ]
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[ tho he’s
also not entirely surprised ]
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Probably doesn't know that I know, buuuut I don't really care if he does or not.
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looks confused ]
Something that personal?
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... can I ask you to do me a favor? A small one, since you're already at it.
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... I don't really feel anger. Spite. Things like that.
But... I think Adolphe deserves someone who feels those things against the person who hurt him so badly. So if you're already angry at Garrett...
I was hoping you could feel some of it on my behalf, too.
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[after the way he acted today, saying this shit now... yeah. definitely.]
Fine. I'll be pissed at him for Anders and you, if neither of you can manage it.
[she's always been good at that, after all. being angry.]
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Yeah. There really is.
[ and sometimes he hates himself too. ]
But... thank you. I really do admire your heart, you know.
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[whew. she'd been worried he was about to be all "whaaat no i'm totally nooormal" about it.]
For what? Being able to feel things like this?
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But I think... for the most part, I don't have to second-guess what you say to me. About how much you do or don't like someone.
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[is she really]
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Does that mean you're probably not going to talk to Garrett tonight?
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I'm not going to get anything out of it. Can't even yell at him when he's not reacting to shit.
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Alright, I'll let you know if anything comes out of the conversation I have with him.
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It is tough, isn't it? Talking to them and not being able to glean anything about the source of their behavior...
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[...]
And not that I care much about this with Hawke, but when it's people like Jing Yuan... it's a mockery.
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... yeah. To them. To the people who care about them.
It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.
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[ frowning, and he shakes his head ]
In general, not being able to correctly assess what's going on around you and your own body being outside of your control... I don't like it.
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You won't hear me disagree... and how are we supposed to stop this from happening...?
[ it's a murdergame baybee ]
week 2, wednesday
yves has a bouquet for her and tiny one for her chao,, ]
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[she's just around the mansion right now! the chao is not with her, though.]
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[ though he sounds amused ]
It just felt wrong to bring your chao something to dote on them but nothing for you.
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[can't believe this is the first time anyone has ever given her flowers...]
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[ even still he will offer her a bouquet... ]
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[she just
does not look at the bulletin board.
she'll accept the bouquet, though, even though she's looking at these flowers like what do you even Do with these,]
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[ and when she looks confused at the flowers he adds - ]
It's mostly for decoration, and they do smell nice. When they wilt, you can always press them into a book to keep.
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[but decoration is fine. they won't look bad in her room.]
I get that you'd probably do something like that even without a note, buuuut I'll pass.
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[ but he doesn't seem fussed either way... just an example ]
But that's fair enough. I think I've just been looking for things to do... my days normally aren't this free.
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Do you think that you don't...?
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Because I... don't like the idea of people feeling like they have to be 'better' either.
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I've never been a 'good person'. Being dead for a couple months isn't likely to change that.
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It's not fair to judge by a simple measure when life is anything but.
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If someone's lived a truly horrible life with difficult circumstances and making decisions that others might not like is the only way to survive...
How can they be held to the same level as someone who had an easier time...?
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[ it'd be nice but ]
All this to say... if there's anything I can do to help you, Wiš'adel, please let me know. I want you to return to life, but I don't want you to have to sacrifice being you either.
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[she exhales a huff, with that. worry less about her!]
It's not like I was going to live a long life anyway, if I don't get to give it another shot.
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And I feel like... people who are more attached to life than I am should get a better shot.
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I died in a battle that I chose to die in, because it was the best way to accomplish my goals. So I killed my friend and he killed me.
But even before that... I've lost pretty much everyone that I've considered a friend. So... it's a little hard to convince myself to go back.
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I'm going to give you an answer and I think you're going to say it's gross...
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Fine! Hit me with it anyway!
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I wanted to be loved. I thought I'd try to find someone to love me, but I gave up after a while. [ after all the heartbreak, and he's still given up. hence not looking for dates ]
And... I don't know if that's reason enough for me to try again.
Otherwise, I've fulfilled my family's responsibility and get to accomplish more here than I did on my island... so I don't know if I want to go back.
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[what in the fuck.]
I never thought I'd hear you say something that sad.
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I was lucky enough to receive platonic love, from a few people. Though they're mostly gone now.
But... no. People thought they could love me romantically, and it ended up... not working out.
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An abnormal scar that made people think that I'm a puppet of Death, cursed and certainly doomed to harm them.
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he laughs a bit ]
I think... they're probably just all doing their best, and don't know how to wrestle with what they don't understand.
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[it's stupid.]
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[ but... he does appreciate it ]
... thanks for saying so anyway.
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[huffs. don't thank her for saying something that shouldn't have to be said.
...]
Hey. Can I see?
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I've seen worse, I can promise you that. My scars are basically nothing compared to what it can be like.
[a little gesture of her right arm, with its three crystal lines.]
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[ but he still shakes his head ]
I know that what you're saying is also probably true, but... I'd rather not. Sorry.
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[be unapologetic! don't give people shit!! c'mon, man.]
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[ ok he's being sincere but he's also clearly saying it this sweetly knowing it'll annoy her and it's funny ]
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[YOUUUU]
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I can't tease you a little?
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[ and bc you're canon familiar i can talk about how funny this is when yves can't fucking feel pain ]
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We could test that. Fair warning, though-- I don't hold back.
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I wouldn't expect you to.
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[that's just LAME.]
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How about... Sunday? Evening?
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Fine, fine, Sunday.
[and then she gets mcfucked up]
week 2, thursday
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when he shows up, she stays quiet, watching him warily.]
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Hi... I'm Yves. I heard you weren't feeling well, so I wanted to check on you. Is that okay?
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[she may be (redacted) but she's still the same in some ways...]
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Could you remind me of your name, though? Wanna make sure I get it right.
[ since she hated being called mademoiselle before ]
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It's Griefblade.
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Nice to meet you properly, Griefblade.
Can I ask what you remember just coming from...?
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he frowns ]
... Was it... a cruel mission?
[ he's really just guessing here ]
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[her brow furrows-- struggling to recall something, before finally landing on it.]
I think everything that they did was that way.
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and offers her a hand to hold? ]
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You don't have to take it.
But sometimes... I think it can be nice, to hold onto another person in a way that doesn't hurt.
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she sort of remembers, vaguely, the sense that there had been a person who seemed to care. someone who she, in turn, had been forced to hurt. who she'd forgotten. she definitely cannot remember touching anyone in a nonviolent way.
after a long pause, she accepts it, because what the hell-- she might as well try it out.
(she's missing a couple fingers across both hands btw.)]
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yves's hold is gentle. he doesn't do anything to squeeze or jostle her remaining fingers or palm, instead letting his own fingers just curl so very lightly over hers in a featherlight hold she can still escape from ]
... I'm glad you made it here alive. I'm sorry for the hurt it must've taken to make the journey.
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[getting sappy on her... ew...
but it's-- okay, it's not so bad, she guesses. especially the way it's left light, not something to entrap her in (never again, ever, nobody else controls her.)
she doesn't tighten the hold at all, but she also doesn't pull away.]
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[ but he'll take the paw hold for the win that it is... ]
Were the four of you together the whole time...? Or?
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I know something had to have happened, but I can't remember any of it.
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... at least, I do think you'll probably be able to get it back. Even if it shouldn't have been taken in the first place.
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[she will cause ALL of them.]
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It's worth causing problems over, at least. I'd like to help you in any way I can.
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But anything we break that's worth fixing, I can fix.
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[she lets go of his hand, there. too much affection.]
week 2, post-trial
Hey. You feeling okay? Want a drink or painkillers or anything?
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[of course.
she's not, physically speaking, but she doesn't want anything for it.]
...that one you got was me, just so you know, not someone who still thought you were suspicious for some stupid reason. I figured you wouldn't care.
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he laughs ]
I don't. But thank you for telling me. I appreciate the honesty.
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Yeah, yeah, whatever.
... I'm not sorry about the rest.
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I know. Why would you be?
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No, I don't care about that either. You were being thorough.
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[ at least he's honest but handwaves they're at the bar now so yves can make them both drinks ]
But it causes you less problems, so isn't that fine?
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[she settles in at a table, meanwhile.]
Make mine strong this time.
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Am I wrong? Did you want me to be mad at you?
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[ he'll walk over with their drinks, hers is stronger than his just because he's a lightweight
hands it over and takes a seat next to her ]
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[she takes a sip of her drink, and slowly exhales.]
What I'm used to-- it's a little more push and pull. I leave my squadmate behind and tell her she's bait, she turns it around and bails on me first, but we both know we can handle each other's shit. That kind of thing. And you...? It's like you can be pushed and pushed at without it mattering at all.
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Yeah.
[ he'll just confirm this ]
I'd never leave you behind, but I wouldn't blame you if you did with me. I'd rather protect you. It's not like I want to die—but I don't see a point in holding grudges when you're doing what it takes to survive.
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[how. how even.]
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I thought I was a little shit?
[ TEASING!!!! ]
... no, I'm just a twisted person in my own way.
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[hollow knight meet little shit knight.]
I'm not seeing it so far, but all right, I'll bite. Twisted how?
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[ so there's no problem mentioning it right? especially when he already said that there are things that he can't feel.
she's right. he is hollow. ]
I decided that when I was younger... after I got my scar. I'd try to love everyone, in hopes that maybe one day I could find someone who'd love me back. When I did that...
I discarded anything that would get in the way of that. Anything that could make me harder to love. So anger, spite, contempt... [ he shakes his head ] I don't feel those things anymore.
Though I know I'm abnormal for it. It's why I don't disagree with you.
[ that his brain is bad. that he's crazy. he knows. he's always known. ]
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[she takes a longer sip, mulling over that.]
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[ he smiles a little bit here, but it's more rueful now. taking a longer sip from his glass ]
And now it feels like I've tricked everyone here into caring about me, even though I know it's not that simple. I don't want to turn away their kindness.
But sometimes... the thought crosses my mind.
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[hell, they fuss over her, and everyone knows what she's like.]
If you ask me, it's more sad than selfish, buuut I don't see love as something worth making yourself less for.
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[ and he is fond of them, and he perks up a little bit again at that. ]
But... it's good that you don't. I like you the way you are. I'd rather that no one end up like me. It's a bit pathetic.
[ a strong word that he can use, because it is about himself. ]
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[hey, he said it, not her.]
You only made it harder on yourself in the end, you know that, right?
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[ looks thoughtful ]
Maybe. I think I'm difficult to love for a lot of reasons.
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[sips again, before-]
You don't show anything negative, so what's the contrast in your positives? And if you try to love everyone... of course anyone would end up questioning whether they'd just be sharing that love of yours with everybody else.
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I know. It's why I asked for you to feel angry on Adolphe's behalf for me.
[ sometimes he wishes he could be a person who could feel those things. ]
You're not wrong. I just don't know how to change who I am anymore.
[ he shattered his own brain and emotional processing in the face of trauma and then put it together desperately once already, he's not sure if he can do it again ]
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[it's just not what she's made for. wiš'adel is herself a force of change, but not a very peaceful one.]
Guess you could just find someone who makes up for it.
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The fact that you'd think to help at all is enough for me. [ even if she can't, the fact that there is a ghost of an offer in her words does mean a lot to him ]
Maybe I will one day. But... even if I don't, I'm lucky to have met the people I have.
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[it is she's just huffy that he caught the hint of an offer in it]
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Oh, sorry. What did I misunderstand?
w3 monday
what plays out is this. (scroll down to 'can you put a price on the life of a merc', skip over the little bit with just hoederer, and then hit the next page or just click here for the second part.)
she huffs out a little sound, almost amused, as she watches this play out.]
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yves is from a terrible island, even if he'll deny it. but in that terrible island, so loved by death, he's still never seen war. he's seen illness and that resonates with him, he's seen orphans and he's seen people who try so very hard to save each other—but he's never seen war. the devastation of it. hospitals abandoned. rubble. ruin.
he breathes in and processes that thought before he looks to her ]
... Wiš'adel?
[ how much does she want to talk about it? ]
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[casual enough. she doesn't mind-- she knows what life is like in her world, and always has. she doesn't care about something like this being exposed.
it's up to how much he actually wants to know.]
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It was kind of you, even if you might not like my saying so.
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[there was a point where she was small and alone, too. she remembers.]
Just helping them out too directly wouldn't have done 'em any favors. He had to learn.
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[ he does think of his own teacher, and his extreme methods of help... but he was trying to help ]
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And you probably couldn't check on them...
[ if she had other things to do? ah. what a difficult situation. ]
I suppose... at some point you do need to let go, and hope people will turn out okay.
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[after a second, she exhales a little sigh.]
I get feeling bad for them, but they're far from the only ones suffering, and you'd never be able to help everyone. They already got luckier than most, surviving together like that.
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[ he does know that sometimes you take what you can get in the world ]
I hope they're able to make it safely to an orphanage or... figure out how to live life safely moving forward. I'll wish for the best for them.
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[probably. maybe. if war doesn't just get in the way.]
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Did you have someone who taught you too...?
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Before that? I mostly figured shit out on my own. Started taking on jobs when I was old enough to be taken seriously as a mercenary. [...] I don't know if the body I took my old knife from had a name or not, so... I couldn't really pick theirs up with their weapon. They were definitely a merc, though.
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But—I'm glad you were able to learn all that, even if it must've been difficult. [ a beat ] I suppose what I'm trying saying is that I'm glad you're still here.
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[absolutely fucking insane system but okay sarkaz]
Also, technically, I'm not still here.
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and he shakes his head ]
Your soul's here, though. And you survived as long as you did, even though I wish it was longer.
I suppose I'm ultimately saying that I'm glad you are the way you are, though I wish you suffered less.
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[that gets a huff of a laugh from her, shaking her head.]
I don't think I've heard anyone say they're glad I'm the way I am!
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I think they should. But at the very least, it's the opinion I hold.
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I don't think you're awful taste at all.
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w3 thursday
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[...]
C'mon, where were you headed.
[she'll help if he looks like he needs it.]
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[ but he's walking like he's not injured at all, of course ]
I just... wanted to sit by the hot springs. It's freezing.
[ it is a normal temperature ]
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[the fretters are gonna be upSET.]
It's not freezing, by the way, but whatever. I'll drag you away from 'em if you start looking faint or anything.
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[ if he's being honest but
he's willing to try anything, and that's why he'll keep walking to the hot springs ]
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[could be something lingering, maybe...
but she'll accompany him to the spring.]
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No... but I was a ghost. Everyone else was alive. So I think being dead... made me very cold.
[ said so matter of factly because apparently yves is acclimating to always being dead ]
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[when they reach the springs she is, unfortunately, just going to start getting ready to hop in.]
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HE'S
GOING TO PLACE A HAND ON HER SHOULDER ]
Why.
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god
she's going out of her way to keep him company so he just pauses and then frowns even though he's clearly turning red. he goes to stand in a corner.... ]
Can you just... wear a towel please...
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[she hasn't even taken off her undies, wow...
she explicitly does not fucking do this on the weekends
however, she will in fact wear the towel.]
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[ HE'S JUST GONNA SAY IT he doesn't even care that she doesn't participate! he's just embarrassed! he's still staring at the wall ]
Let me know when you're done...
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[c'mon yves.
and when she's ready, betoweled-]
Okay, you can look without scarring your poor, virginal eyes.
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I think I'm becoming honored that you're so comfortable around me.
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[as she heads over to sink into the water:]
Sooo what was it this time?
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... hard to explain, like I'm sure you experienced too.
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My name is Yves. I'm from an island called Arpéchéle. The land beloved by Death. I... died when I was 17. [ a beat ] 22? [ uh oh ] I was used in a failed sacrifice by... my friend, Scien.
No, I chose to die, or I...
[ ? ]
I couldn't die when it mattered most.
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All I care about anyway is that you're Yves, one of the most obnoxious men I know.
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... I am pretty obnoxious, huh?
[ though it's just a weak tease in return ]
week 3, saturday
Looks like it didn't come to what you were saying, Wiš'adel.
[ they didn't even have two to vote for... ]
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[she doesn't expect to be handling it tomorrow, either. she's just going to be vibrating angrily all weekend.]
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I don't think we even have enough leads to decide who to handle, for Zhongli's death.
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Do you think we can intervene before another week is through?
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But do you think we can figure it out?
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... I was paying more attention to Elysia's, anyway, so what'd we even have on his situation?
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After that, I got lost in all the bruises and misdirection.
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...hey, uh, was Jacopo on that list?
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Yeah, why?
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Mm. I'll ask Gabe. See if they're willing to open up about stuff that happened in private like that.
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You can also check in with Jacopo later. They did a check of his hand injury against Zhongli's polearm slice and it wasn't a match.
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[relieved? her? never.]
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I didn't want it to be him either. I was the one checking his injuries but... at least based on those checks, it wasn't him.
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[ so weird! ]
But I think I'm okay? If people suspect me again, I don't mind. I just don't know how to clear the air...
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[yves.]
But somebody who was with you cleared you, right?
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[ just. yeah. yves definitely has enough faith in his abilities to say that his current injuries absolutely would not stop him from putting up a fight ]
... but Marcoh at least knew all my injuries, yes. Nothing looked new to him.
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[...]
The only other suspicion I've got isn't based on much, and I don't really like it.
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What is it?
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...so the, uh, letters one? The J, I, Q, T? T was obviously the tea party part. I heard Taair yelling about an eye?? [she was distracted bc i was backreading at con] And that leaves J, Q. Lot of food involved in that one, and a kitchen, right? I saw the doc never got checked over. I just didn't think it was gonna matter, he-- fuck it, we both know what's been going on, I didn't think he could see enough to kill a guy.
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I mean... there was a lot of discussion about what Koharu could or couldn't do while blind, but she's 15. Jiao's a seasoned veteran...
I guess we could watch his behavior over the next week? Do you think that maybe he... ate a cookie that made both his feet bigger or something for the shoes?
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...I'll watch him.
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[ hard to say now when trial is over and their item got used ]
Alright... Do we have any other suspects worth looking after?
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I spend less time with Mizu though...
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He's always been nice in his own way to me.
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week 4, tuesday morning
and when he sees w, he brightens up. despite everything, he really is so happy and fond of her and that comes through clear as day ]
Wiš'adel! You know how to dance?
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[sorry, give her a second, she's dealing with getting smacked in the metaphorical face by those emotions?? what. what the fuck.]
-nah, I never really learned or anything.
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but it's yves ]
Me neither! Wanna learn together? We can fumble around and just have fun.
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[lmao. she's just teasing, though.]
I'm not gonna be nice about it if you step on my feet!
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I wouldn't expect you to be! It'll keep me on my toes.
[ but he'll hold his hand out to her, still so fond and light-hearted ]
Seems like as good a time as any to learn.
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[she accepts that hand, trying to shove that fond, lighthearted feeling aside. stop thattt.]
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[ and unfortunately he won't, he'll just bring her hand up to kiss the back of it like a gentleman ]
Thanks for humoring me.
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[her hand tenses like she's about to reflexively yank it back, vibes shifting to a little more flustered.]
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I'm just going off of what little girls told me happens at dances in their storybooks? We'd play sometimes at the orphanage, and that's the most experience I've gotten.
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[stop being so otome at her it is so fucking foreign to her life experiences...]
...now what?
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he is posterboy ]
Something like this, I think?
[ and he'll gently rearrange their hands before reaching out to let his hand rest at the middle of her back politely, bringing them into the position for a very simple waltz. he matches the rhythm of the piano to the best of his ability, but he's clearly guessing ]
week 4, tuesday
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I thought you and Ellie were sweet together too
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The message wasn't lying there is a lot of chemistry here
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Sometimes you just see someone and go 'wow it'd be lovely to spend the rest of my days with you'
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definitly haven't here. we have what, 4 weeks left? 3? and who knows if we're staying or going
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but for anything more than that? sure it does.
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If some people are okay loving for a short time but knowing that their time together is still meaningful
There's nothing wrong with that
But I'm happy to know that you'd want something long-term
That's sweet
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Even though I wish you would
But your response implied that you'd actually want something that'd last!
That's cute!
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why do you wish I would, anyway?
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My island is proof enough of that
?
Because you'd be even more breathtaking in love
I'm sure of it
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Besides getting you a date?
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But it's not like I say anything I don't believe
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I think I'd be really lucky to get to fall in love with you
Though I do think that there are probably people who'd suit you better than me
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What about it?
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My main goal is just to see you all happy
And my side goal is to have a bit of my own fun along the way
Today feels like a success for that
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were you part of this
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and if your lying to me I WILL find out.
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It wasn't me
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anyway, if you want to have your own fun just go figure out who you'd want to go with the most
ask 'em on a date and maybe that'll get some of your romantic urges delt with
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But thanks for the advice
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Then I guess I've already been on a date
So it's not like I'm feeling needy or anything
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but fine, fine, I'll bite. might as well try one once.
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Is there anything in particular you'd like to do?
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But I think I have an idea
I need to order stuff for it though
Tomorrow evening?
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do I get a hint or what?
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Better off as a surprise
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all right, then. seeya tomorow.
week 4, friday
he looks up and waves ]
I'm glad you're safe.
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[her own vibes are tired, but mainly just like. "ugh, here we go again" type of tired.]
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At least we know there's a place we go after. It doesn't excuse the pain, but it at least confirms it's not the end.
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How bad do you think tomorrow is gonna be?
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[ nodding ]
Then I guess we can keep our old suspicions intact as we move forward tomorrow.
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What do you mean?
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[ looks thoughtful ]
I don't know if we know enough about it to say things like that. It seems to be random in which people are susceptible.
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[ the hypothesizing and theorizing and thinking about motive just don't work out very well ]
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[she just wants to be more sure it's not somebody she cares about.]
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There's probably no answer we'll find tomorrow that we'll like.
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... but I'll be more okay with some of 'em.
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Then be more okay on my behalf too, please.
[ since there's no answer he'd like ]
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Maybe. I don't think I have as much reason to be angry anymore... hopefully.
[ he won't care if he's framed for murder or anything ]
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[why Not.]
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[ killing his best friend was probably the only way ]
I'll get upset, like what happened with Ellie but...
[ it's just not an emotion he reaches for ]
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[you and your weird emotions, yves.]
But I guess it's harder for a Sarkaz to understand how you think anyway.
[even if he's explained before.]
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[ he's admitted he's abnormal ]
I don't really ever expect for someone to get it, and I wouldn't want them to... so that's okay.
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I think I'm pretty straightforward? I'm not like Jacopo.
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she's just laughing at this, her vibes amused.]
Yeah, you're really not! He's trying too hard for it.
[she's still wearing jacopo's coat btw. he said don't give it back... she won't...]
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Maybe... I'm never sure about him, which I think is the point.
[ even if he does like jacopo and his friendly fond vibes do reflect that ]
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hesitation ]
... maybe.
[ like he's not sure what's his business to admit to ]
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If you were gonna say something about what he wants to keep quiet, yeah, I've seen some shit.
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[ yves gossips for fun
but he thinks it'd be rude to jacopo to keep going ]
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[waving a hand at that. damn, you people take everything so serious.]
What else... okay, if you don't want to talk about people, what about this. You know anything about cats?
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Why?
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I'm trying to bribe Gabe into nabbing me one, they said they'd give it a shot.
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Anders loves cats. I can help, but he's probably the expert.
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[maybe.]
week 4, post-trial
no basket and visits because he doesn't know who wants to see him ]
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You know, I guess what you did saved us from having a lot of issues in the end there.
[imagine making this group decide between voting for two precious influenced teens.]
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there's guilt, a sense of failure, and so much self-hatred ]
... I guess.
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I'm not a coward who lets other people handle my troubles.
[ he's the only person who knew. why would he just tell someone else? he's not someone who runs away from having to kill his friends when he's already done it ]
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[ maybe because no one asked
but he’s not going to just pass that off to another person ]
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Oh, fine. I know a losing battle when I see one.
[a little huff.]
You're gonna be going over this a lot of times, probably, so... want me to ask you to do something instead?
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he tilts his head ]
What can I do for you?
[ in the end, he's always eager to please ]
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[the vibes are a little concerned and a lot "do not fucking say it i know you're thinking it don'ttt".]
So. She wants help getting info to the three of them. Theories too, not just stuff we think we know for sure.
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Mm. I don't think people tell them that often about the things that happen on the Thursday journeys. At least, that's what I gleaned from when I spoke to them after mine.
But... okay. I can do my best.
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week 5, monday
- murdered more than one friend
- left home country to ruin
- in love with too many people
- acts like a needy bottom when he's actually a switch
waves hello and yawns ]
Hi. This location's weird.
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[she blinks at the tattoos, though, pausing to read a couple of them over... and laughs to herself, shaking her head.]
-most of those sound about right.
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[ but yves looks down at the tattoos and snorts before looking back at her ]
I can't deny who I am.
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[the needy bottom part is so extra]
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[ he's still not that savvy ]
But some people are so bad at their feelings they'd rather take care of mine.
[ so he doesn't mind being needy ]
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[it'd be funny to open this can of worms buuut she isn't doing it right now.]
I don't see what the point of that is, though! Why bother dealing with feelings at all in that case?
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Because... they still want to connect to people?
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week 5, thursday
WHERE SHE? ]
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...guess me and Saber have some kinda luck, huh?
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How did this trip compare to the last one?
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How come?
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[MAD.]
Let me put it this way. I spent half that trip thinking Saber's name was "Kung Fury". I feel like I've been fucking high.
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[ wow ]
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[ flashbacks to shaman king cyoa ]
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[god you're so right it's exactly that again]
week 7, monday
he genuinely looks surprised by the time evening comes around ]
Where do you even want to go...? I wanted to try the beach but now it's way worse.
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[glancing around. what the fuck.]
I don't know, there has to be somewhere, right-? The garden's still pretty normal.
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Works for me if it works for you. We can find a spot of soil to make sure nothing catches fire.
I'll follow the expert's lead.
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[she pats the launcher, which bobs more animatedly.]
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Sounds like we're ready then! Let's go?
[ offers a hand out to her to hold.... yay :) ]
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[if it's supposed to be a date, she Supposes he can have a handhold. whatever.]
So, got any weddings to plan? Or did your matchmaking fall short over there?
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sure, intertwines their fingers just to test god ]
Are you trying to get gossip to talk around the fact that you kissed Jacopo in front of our axolotl god and everyone?
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[a little laugh, shaking her head. it's fine. she's gotten used to this from a couple people, he's allowed... for now.]
Nah, that didn't mean anything.
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No?
[ a little - well, more than a little surprised ]
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[a little shrug...]
I'll bet you he doesn't even say anything about it happening!
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[ like
there’s two halves of the situation ]
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[a little flicker of amusement before she finishes,]
Just didn't have a good time for it before. He literally ran away when I suggested he could come to my room once, you know?
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So forward. But also unsurprising for Jacopo. That type of guy can be so unexpectedly shy.
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So are you gonna answer the original question?
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[ he just laughs ]
Gamaliel got proposed to today, so that’s exciting.
Any others, I think I have to exercise some patience.
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[teasing, but like, come on. gamaliel is great actually.]
I'm guessing from that answer that it went well? [a beat.] Just don't tell me you ever helped Hawke out.
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I told him to speak his mind and have no regrets but it’s not like either of us can decide how Anders responds.
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[a huff of a sigh. hopefully he'll be smart and break it off, though.]
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Is this because you don’t like Hawke in particular or because you think they’re a bad match?
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Not a good partner?
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[but. well.]
I know, I know, that's not all there is to it, but that shit's just a mess. If nothing else, he needs to get some space from the whole situation, Hawke included.
[even if that's somewhere else.]
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there were so many other circumstances here and yves just sighs a bit ]
... did you invite him to go with you then? Even though he's awfully tied to his cause...
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So I asked him about whether he'd consider going somewhere else, and it turned out I was pretty slow to that conversation. [so no, she never asked.] But I'll honestly take him going anywhere that isn't fucking Kirkwall.
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he just makes a briefly amused noise ]
I'm glad—it sounds like so many people want to take him from his circumstances... He's well-loved.
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[there's more fondness in her emotions there. a degree of care she really hates to show.]
So-- what about you? Planning on going right home if you get the chance?
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[ pretty openly even as they make it to the garden ]
I killed a god and gave my ruined country a chance to survive. That's all they get from me now. I'm going to try to find a life I actually enjoy now.
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Wow. I'll admit, I didn't expect to hear that out of you!
[good for him, though. sometimes you just have to kill god!]
Any thoughts on that part yet?
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[ HE'S SO CONSISTENTTTT honestly he's just loyal like a fucking dog ]
... but well, the god was my friend. [ so it's a little more complicated ] Still, I stand by what I said. I was torn on it for long enough.
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[her tail flicks at him.]
...I get it, though. Friendship's not enough to keep some things from happening.
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[ by a lot ]
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[just a regular guy stressed out by things.]
Then I guess there really wouldn't be any point in offering, even if it weren't for Terra's usual problems.
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... I appreciate the thought nonetheless.
[ anyway it's time to make it to the garden and he'll use the hand that's holding hers to raise it enough to guide her into a little twirl as they walk heho ]
Now I don't know if we're supposed to spend an entire date talking about other people and their problems.
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[she knows what terra is like, okay, it's sure as hell not a vacation spot. great for people who need something to do, terrible for relaxation.
the twirl is a surprise, getting a little blip of ! at it before she just goes with it and spins.]
We're not, huh. So what do you think we should spend it talking about?
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You.
[ they can talk about himself but he cares less ]
And how I can assist you with lighting up these fireworks?
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[her tail swishes, perked happily at the thought.]
If it's me you want to talk about, then... what else do you wanna know?
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[ with a little smile ]
What else do I wanna know... anything you'd be willing to give me. Why do you love explosives so much? What's your favorite memory? Who's your best friend?
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[they're multifunctional, in several ways.]
I don't have a best friend at home, but here? Definitely Jiaoqiu.
endgame
but he'll offer it out anyway ]
I know it's a been delicate and sappy, but will you accept a token from me?
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[so she takes it, one corner of her mouth curved in amusement.]
Making your rounds, huh?
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It sounds like this'll be something of a goodbye for now...
Even though I do look forward to seeing everyone again, at the end of our lives.
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[a little bit teasing, but
it's also not.]
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I'm pretty sure we all do? Unless you choose not to?
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