Where I come from, Jing Yuan is the leader of an entire ship's worth of people. He protects them, and they are dependent on him. Under his command, they do not suffer slavery or exposure to combat, and they prosper. He's an excellent leader, and though sometimes he falters like any man would, his people - my people - are safe because of him.
Do I sacrifice all of those people's safety because of a reckless decision he made? Would it not be more satisfactory to lose a servant's life, over a General's, to give him a chance at redemption?
[ he listens, and he follows along. he understands in different shades of it—the logical, rational one, and the one where the emotion of wanting to protect that sanctuary overrides all else
he'll reach out, and try to take jiaoqiu's hand if it's allowed ]
I do. And I understand why you made the choice you did. I think I would've done the same thing.
[ . . . ]
But I still would've mourned you, if the vote went a different way. Still would've missed you.
[ smiles faintly, a little sadly. he'll just hold jiaoqiu's hand between both of his own then ]
Your General mourns you, I bet. Your Crow. [ and he will gently remind jiaoqiu of this ] I think if they heard about what you tried today... even if they understood it, they'd still miss you all the more.
[ to know jiaoqiu would've lost his own chance to be with the people he loves, to sacrifice himself for jing yuan and his people. ]
Your life - and afterlife - is more than what you can stand to sacrifice.
Even if I completely understand your decision, and tried to respect your wishes... I hope you know that doesn't mean you matter any less.
[ he thinks, as they're sitting there, that if feixiao heard what he tried to pull today, she'd beat his ass. it's amusing, at least. it's a little something outside of the numbness.
does he matter? he doesn't know so much about that. there is something to be said about tying up worthiness in what you can give, but he refuses to face that so head on. instead, he listens to what yves has to say, and tries to take the kindness for what it is. ]
You don't need to focus on my feelings in all of this. [ he says, finally. ] It's... appreciated. But I am not the one facing judgement. My reputation isn't the one that's tarnished.
[ a little uncomfortable shift. ]
Edited (noooo my html owner help me) 2025-02-16 16:27 (UTC)
Mm... I'm just one person, but I'll at least be trying to make sure people aren't too harsh on Jing Yuan. Choosing to do this... feels so sudden. It's at odds with what he said to me a few days ago...
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Do I sacrifice all of those people's safety because of a reckless decision he made? Would it not be more satisfactory to lose a servant's life, over a General's, to give him a chance at redemption?
... Is that a thing I can live with?
I suppose you know the answer to that question.
no subject
he'll reach out, and try to take jiaoqiu's hand if it's allowed ]
I do. And I understand why you made the choice you did. I think I would've done the same thing.
[ . . . ]
But I still would've mourned you, if the vote went a different way. Still would've missed you.
Even if I understood, at the exact same time.
no subject
You've known me for such a short time and still you say this. [ ... ] I haven't ever thought about being mourned.
no subject
Your General mourns you, I bet. Your Crow. [ and he will gently remind jiaoqiu of this ] I think if they heard about what you tried today... even if they understood it, they'd still miss you all the more.
[ to know jiaoqiu would've lost his own chance to be with the people he loves, to sacrifice himself for jing yuan and his people. ]
Your life - and afterlife - is more than what you can stand to sacrifice.
Even if I completely understand your decision, and tried to respect your wishes... I hope you know that doesn't mean you matter any less.
no subject
does he matter? he doesn't know so much about that. there is something to be said about tying up worthiness in what you can give, but he refuses to face that so head on. instead, he listens to what yves has to say, and tries to take the kindness for what it is. ]
You don't need to focus on my feelings in all of this. [ he says, finally. ] It's... appreciated. But I am not the one facing judgement. My reputation isn't the one that's tarnished.
[ a little uncomfortable shift. ]
no subject
yves looks thoughtful for a moment at that... ]
Mm... I'm just one person, but I'll at least be trying to make sure people aren't too harsh on Jing Yuan. Choosing to do this... feels so sudden. It's at odds with what he said to me a few days ago...
[ gently squeezes jiaoqiu's hand ]
Do you feel the same? You know him better...