yves & claude

[noirges]

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[noirges]

[ he looks thoughtful for a moment before giving claude's hand just a little squeeze ]

... I've been told I can be reckless. Maybe this is one of those moments.

But I don't want to die. I want to be here with you.

[midway]

[ Looks at him, lips pursed. ]

I don't think you want to die, Yves.

But I'm not sure that you're desperate to live either.

[noirges]

[ unfortunately



that's fair. ]

... I don't really have much to go back to.

But I did have fun living. I'm having fun here, when we aren't being put through Hades-inspired torture rituals for 9 hours. I don't want anyone to think that they're easy to leave behind... none of you are.

I think I just feel guilty, comparing my uncertainty with everyone else who knows exactly what they want redemption for.

[midway]

[ That's not particularly surprising to hear. ]

Do you think that's okay, to feel that way?

[noirges]

[ ? ]

Is there such a thing as a wrong way to feel?

[midway]

I suppose not.

But, for example, I can't imagine it's a good thing to go around feeling like you should die all the time either.

So I guess what I'm asking is do you think you should try and change that guilt?

[noirges]

I still don't think I should die...

[ but

he is apathetic to it, in a way that does feel dangerous and concerning to the people around him. and yves can at least recognize that it's making him a bother to others, which he does dislike. even if in the end, he's still just thinking of others and not himself. ]

But it sounds like you think I should change. [ a little squeeze of claude's fingers ] How?

[midway]

[ He blinks, looking startled. ]

I mean, I don't know. You don't really need to change just because someone tells you to, anyway.

[noirges]

[ okay? yves raises a brow and leans a little on claude's uninjured side ]

Oh? So you'll give constructive criticism without a way forward? Claude...

[ though his tone is obviously teasing, as if trying to make this just a little bit lighter ]

... I'm not against trying. I can't promise results, because I don't know how to find a reason to live either. But... I know how sad it's been making people, for me to say that I'm uncertain. I don't like that feeling either.

I'd rather not be a twisted person who just accepts making the people I love so sad for me.

[midway]

[ He doesn't rise to the teasing, instead wondering if Yves is right. ]

I was just sharing my perspective.

[ Which happened to be critical... He's bad with people... Takes a break to gulp his wine. ]

Regardless... ultimately, it's in your hands how you want to exist.

[noirges]

[ not the gulp. yves just watches ]

... I know. I just... I don't want to give you another reason to be stressed or worried. You have enough on your plate without me adding to it.

I'm glad you told me. I hope you can forgive me, but I'll do my best to earn it, too.

[midway]

[ He pauses a moment. ]

I don't know if anyone has ever asked for my forgiveness.

[noirges]

... every new thing I hear about how people treat you makes me unhappy, too.

[ just! to be upfront about it! ]

You deserve to be treated well too, Claude. Even if we sometimes disagree, I don't care for you any less. I want to make things up to you.

And if I also have to make up for everyone else who misstepped before me who found some excuse to be unfair to you, so be it.

[midway]

[ He laughs at that, finally relaxing now. ]

Thanks, Yves. I think I deserve to be treated well too. [ Claude has never had any doubt about his own worth. ]

Though I will say... usually I'm the one kicking up trouble and having to apologize.

[ Wink! ]

[noirges]

[ ah!

the sound of claude's laugh gets yves' expression to light up, pleased to hear it. he'll lean more against him then, getting cozy as he familiarly has before ]

Finally! We can trade!

[ god he's so tired and he laughs ] I'm tired of being a nuisance this weekend... Thank you for carrying my weight, but I hope you don't have to anymore.

[midway]

[ This kid... is so annoying. Bonks their heads together. ]

You weren't a nuisance, Yves. But you're welcome.

[noirges]

[ he IS so annoying... claude bonks their heads together and yves laughs quietly, turning so their foreheads are pressed together instead ]

Please remember you can lean on me, too.

I know this weekend wasn't easy for anyone.

[midway]

[ Oh, no. That is uncomfortably close, but they can touch foreheads before he's facing out again toward the water. I think they're at the beach. I can't even remember. ]

It wasn't easy watching all that go down.

[ With Hawke, Anders and Firefly. ]

Even worse to experience it, I'm sure.

[noirges]

[ now they are it's fine

yves will just let his head rest on claude's good shoulder again ]

Mm... I'm sure their hearts are going to be heavy for a time longer.

Are you going to talk to Garrett tonight?

[midway]

Yeah.

Are you?

[ Adolphe died to a bear... ]

[noirges]

Mm-hmm.

Even if he's not in his right mind... I'd like to speak with my friend. And get what answers I can.

[ about his adolphe... ]

[midway]

You still call him your friend, huh?

You really are a gentle soul.

[noirges]

[ . . . ]

I think it'd be better if I could get angry. Adolphe deserves someone who would.

But he knew this about me already... so I hope he doesn't mind.

[midway]

Why would it be better?

[noirges]

... maybe more normal, is what I should say...