but he'll just rest his head in his hands at that, looking confused ]
I'm not sure... I wasn't very good at religious studies. Monsieur Lucas would talk about Hades sometimes, as where your soul gets ferried to after death and you repent for all the bad things you've done...
So I guess I'd just... suffer for a while?
I would've wanted to apologize directly to the people I couldn't save, but they're not here...
... What if it's a really long suffering? Like... three lifetimes worth of suffering?
[ honestly, he's also just thinking out loud. he's really not sure. it's part of why he just assumed hades had a formula he could follow ]
But I don't think it's just fair to say "I'm going to kill this one person and save dozens" either. Because to someone, that one person could be worth everything. You could be taking away someone's entire world.
[ idly taps at the counter again.... ]
... I think I was hoping someone else had the answer.
In any case, Claude's brows furrow as he thinks about it. ]
Personally, I don't think there's anything anyone can do to make up for taking someone's life. There's nothing that could... ever equal or measure up to the impact and importance of a life.
And I think we just have to live with that, and give up on the impossibility of trying to atone for something that can't be atoned for. I'm not saying not to feel remorse or try to do better, that weight isn't something you can or should shed easily.
But life is for the living. [ He's a little tense, fingers gripping his glass. ] There's no giving satisfaction to the dead, only making things better for the living.
[ And then the tension dissipates with a sigh. ]
Though the fact that we're also dead kind of puts all my feelings on their head...
[ yves answer to trolley problem would be 'would my most important person come here if he died because if so i think he'd say thank you' he really left hugo behind
but!
yves listens in turn, thoughtfully. he nods along in parts, because he agrees. honestly? ] ... if I had to pick through answers, I think I'd like yours most.
[ because there is some part of him that thinks carrying the weight of someone's life makes sense - for that to be the eternal punishment, but also... because it at least keeps someone's memory that much closer.
though he'll also let his hand come up to claude's shoulder - the touch is brief, gentle, but he gives it a small squeeze. he won't call attention to that tension, but he doesn't miss it.
softly: ]
... but I'm sorry you're here. I think that you must've made a big difference to people when you were alive. [ if he's able to provide such good answers to big questions ]
So... that's why I think it's okay, if someone has to carry your loss too. It doesn't have to be different because it's you.
[ CLAUDE YOUR BEER!!!! yves will startle a little - and laugh lightly afterward. he pulls his hand away just to try to mimic this! he succeeds, if just barely, and followed by a little hiccup after
EVEN MORE WARMLY: ]
Ifff you say so!
[ tipsy lil laugh ]
I don't know what experiences you have that mean you see mercy a lot, Claude.... but I'm grateful to have a chance to meet you.
But I'd send you home sooner if I could, if it made you happy.
Hehe... hope so. Whoooo said death had to be the end, ya know?
[ but he notices claude's empty glass and just immediately moves to get up ]
Lemme getcha'nother one! [ oh all those words are slurring together
and where yves hopped the counter with just soooo much grace before, he tries again now and - absolutely fucking eats it to land ungracefully on the other side goodbye world ]
[ it's okay he's also devolved into tipsy giggles. idiot. but he'll lift his arms like he's used to being helped, and lean on claude a bit.... they're best friends now ]
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His expression shifts only when he stops, looking thoughtful. ]
How would you want to repent for all that?
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but he'll just rest his head in his hands at that, looking confused ]
I'm not sure... I wasn't very good at religious studies. Monsieur Lucas would talk about Hades sometimes, as where your soul gets ferried to after death and you repent for all the bad things you've done...
So I guess I'd just... suffer for a while?
I would've wanted to apologize directly to the people I couldn't save, but they're not here...
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Do you think your suffering is equal to a life? Several lives?
[ Not implying anything with his tone, almost like he's trying to figure out an answer to repentance too. ]
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[ honestly, he's also just thinking out loud. he's really not sure. it's part of why he just assumed hades had a formula he could follow ]
But I don't think it's just fair to say "I'm going to kill this one person and save dozens" either. Because to someone, that one person could be worth everything. You could be taking away someone's entire world.
[ idly taps at the counter again.... ]
... I think I was hoping someone else had the answer.
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In any case, Claude's brows furrow as he thinks about it. ]
Personally, I don't think there's anything anyone can do to make up for taking someone's life. There's nothing that could... ever equal or measure up to the impact and importance of a life.
And I think we just have to live with that, and give up on the impossibility of trying to atone for something that can't be atoned for. I'm not saying not to feel remorse or try to do better, that weight isn't something you can or should shed easily.
But life is for the living. [ He's a little tense, fingers gripping his glass. ] There's no giving satisfaction to the dead, only making things better for the living.
[ And then the tension dissipates with a sigh. ]
Though the fact that we're also dead kind of puts all my feelings on their head...
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but!
yves listens in turn, thoughtfully. he nods along in parts, because he agrees. honestly? ] ... if I had to pick through answers, I think I'd like yours most.
[ because there is some part of him that thinks carrying the weight of someone's life makes sense - for that to be the eternal punishment, but also... because it at least keeps someone's memory that much closer.
though he'll also let his hand come up to claude's shoulder - the touch is brief, gentle, but he gives it a small squeeze. he won't call attention to that tension, but he doesn't miss it.
softly: ]
... but I'm sorry you're here. I think that you must've made a big difference to people when you were alive. [ if he's able to provide such good answers to big questions ]
So... that's why I think it's okay, if someone has to carry your loss too. It doesn't have to be different because it's you.
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Thanks. I sure left them all with a big mess to clean up, so I doubt they'll be forgetting me anytime soon... For better or for worse.
[ Ugh, what a nightmare.
He just grimaces and chugs his beer, emptying as much of the glass in one go as his lungs will allow him.
Letting it thud back onto the table... ]
I wouldn't spend too long on being surprised to be here, if I was you. In my experience, it's better to show gratitude toward mercy than reject it.
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EVEN MORE WARMLY: ]
Ifff you say so!
[ tipsy lil laugh ]
I don't know what experiences you have that mean you see mercy a lot, Claude.... but I'm grateful to have a chance to meet you.
But I'd send you home sooner if I could, if it made you happy.
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I'm glad to meet you too, Yves. I am grateful for your kindness.
[ Even if he comes off as aloof. Sometimes you just don't know how to be warm. ]
Hopefully whatever it is that awaits us... Is better than anything we've lost.
[ Clinks their glasses again before finishing off his beer. ]
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Hehe... hope so. Whoooo said death had to be the end, ya know?
[ but he notices claude's empty glass and just immediately moves to get up ]
Lemme getcha'nother one! [ oh all those words are slurring together
and where yves hopped the counter with just soooo much grace before, he tries again now and - absolutely fucking eats it to land ungracefully on the other side goodbye world ]
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Well, Claude is kind of an ass so first, he will just laugh at watching him wipe. Sorry, it's so funny that he went at it with such confidence.
Once he's done snicker—which doesn't take that long—he'll get up and walk around the bar so that he can collect Yves from the floor. ]
I think I'm okay, actually. Maybe we should head back to the mansion?
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BECAUSE YVES IS ALSO ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING ]
Whoa... didja see that...
[ it's okay he's also devolved into tipsy giggles. idiot. but he'll lift his arms like he's used to being helped, and lean on claude a bit.... they're best friends now ]
Retirin' early? Ooooookay! Sweet dreams...
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[ THIS BIG BABY but Claude will hold onto him fairly securely. They're close enough in height, and he's pretty strong.
Out they go of the bar and toward the mansion! ]
Do you remember where your room is, buddy?
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anyway first off, pleased and warm: ] We're buddies...
[ and then he starts humming while he tries to think of the room. when he answers it comes out in a little tune ]
Twooo oh fiiive?
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He's really funny like this though, so Claude just chuckles to himself. ]
Roger that.
[ Hopefully he doesn't end up at someone else's door. ]