CLAUDE THIS IS WHY HE DID THIS THIS WEEK HE'S GOING TO THROTTLE YOU ]
Quiet ceremony with family and friends? We'd have to find a way to get an invite, of course. [ looping arms with claude as he usually does, just going on a walk with him ]
But I feel like there has to be some kind of battle component for them both. Like it just wouldn't be a proper wedding for them without some kind of fun brawl.
[ do you want to fastforward to when he's not cursed anymore spoon or do you want to plan out 7 weddings for real ]
Once wedding fever has passed, Claude will return back to normal, and reality once again returns to his senses. It's accompanied by confusion AGAIN, a bit of anxiety, and a slight bit of fear.
He goes silent a month before looking at Yves, feeling a little uncertain. ]
[ the anxiety and fear sure are something—yves own emotions are fairly even-tempered, still existing in that state of general warmth, though he does experience a bit of worry when those emotions from claude go through. not for himself, just for claude.
at the question, he tilts his head ]
I guess I thought you were cute, and just felt like it? [ claude planning weddings is hilarious and sometimes yves is a creature of whimsy ]
Ah, but I should've asked before I kissed you... Please excuse my impatience.
[ That's for worrying, Claude is actually a deer for real. If only it was thought share.
Anyway, the steadiness of Yves' emotions does get him to relax a little, though there's still a sense of worry coming off him. And embarrassment at being called cute. ]
That's okay.
[ He also thinks it's funny to kiss people out of the blue. ]
But, okay. It's alright with you then, if we remain as friends only?
[ it is, because yves is open and sincere all the time—and this isn't really much different ]
I like you, in a way that's different from how I love everyone. [ he loves claude that way too, but he's said that before. he doesn't think he needs to repeat himself ] But sometimes I think that you might hear what I say when I tell you I care about you, but don't understand it.
So... it feels better to say it this week, when it's harder to misunderstand.
[ but clearly not impossible thinks about claude thinking it's feelings of friendship after getting kissed
because yves's general disposition is a positive one, a coping mechanism from everything he's been through. he approaches everyone with adoration and friendliness, sure, but as he lets his gaze fall down to where he's holding claude's hand it's easier to linger on the other feelings that come through. loyalty. trust. devotion. a whisper of a feeling that carries only a vague hope of i want to stay with you. ]
It's impulse for me to want to protect people... so it's like—I've died for others, and I don't regret that. But... if I'd like to try to live, it's because of you.
Because I want to be at your side for as long as I can, even if it's just as your friend. I know you already have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and I'd rather not add to your troubles so...
I don't really mind if my feelings aren't returned, as long as they're understood. You've done a lot for me, just by being yourself and speaking your mind. I don't think it's a surprise that I could come to love you even more for it.
[ all he wants is for claude to understand what it means, for once, to be loved for who he is. to be chosen, too. ]
[ Even as he listens, he really doesn't understand. Not because Yves isn't speaking clearly, or that his emotions can't be felt through the effect of the week, but he just can't understand how Yves came to feel this way.
He's just... himself. He doesn't see what the big deal is, or why it warrants such affection or care.
But he doesn't think he's ever felt the way that Yves does, and maybe that's why he doesn't understand. It makes him a little sad, actually. It seems lovely. ]
You really are so bold with your words...
[ Ah. Embarrassment. It's a lot to take, so he just closes his eyes, glad that he has too much melanin to blush easily. ]
I hear you. And I'm grateful that you'd take the time to make yourself clear. [ Squeezing his hand. ] Um... what else should I say?
[ claude! you are so cute! the affection really is such a constant in yves's own emotions, but it grows a little with this. it's nice to have his feelings heard, and at least some attempt at trying to give them space. like they actually mean something, instead of something careless to be thrown away. sometimes he gets worried.
but after the squeeze of his hand, he'll pull away just so that he can throw his arms around claude's shoulders for a hug, warm and loving ]
Only what you want to say. I'm not looking for anything in particular, you know?
[ he really did just want to make a point. claude doesn't have to love him back. there is maybe just a whisper of that yearning, that wishing, but it passes so quickly it's like a blink.
he pulls back, letting his hands fall on claude's shoulders ]
But you'll have to tell me if there's anything left that you don't understand. I'd hate to still have anything left unsaid.
Is this the part where you're admitting you're a bit secretive and like to redirect conversations to be about your conversational partner instead?
[ a smile, amused. it's not like yves doesn't notice, but he does turn the tables enough times that it doesn't bother him too greatly. he's not the type to overstep into someone's privacy. ]
I wouldn't say I barely know you... I do think I know the more important things about your character, but if you think there's information I'm missing then I'm happy to learn more. [ claude reveals himself as a serial killer in this moment ] You don't have to confess your entire life story to me for me to trust you... I like to think I read between the lines a bit better than that.
To me... you're someone hardworking to the point that sometimes you don't give yourself a moment to rest. You do this because you feel a strong sense of duty to the people in your care, and don't want to fail them. You have a well-developed sense of how you believe other people should be treated, and hate unfair and shallow judgment to the point of it becoming a personal ire. You're a little awkward at comforting people, but you try anyway—and for me, it's been more than enough every time. You're clumsy at farm work, but you're still up for new things, and enjoy taking the moment to relax that comes after labor. You like people and mischief and wyverns and books.
[ yves brings a hand up to rest against claude's cheek, gentle and affectionate. he thinks briefly about how in claude's memory he is apparently a king and he never mentioned it, but admittedly that's not what yves cares about. titles mean nothing to him. ]
You sometimes forget to give yourself time to be a person, because you are so often a problem solver. But my favorite moments with you are when we get to play and laugh and relax. I love all these things about you, and I think I'll love whatever else I learn.
[ Yves hits a lot of targets right on the mark; a marksman to rival Claude's own ability with the bow. And again he finds himself absolutely stupefied by the level of attention and detail being paid to him. It's lovely, and sweet, and he's not so coldly rational that his face doesn't feel a little warm, and his pulse a little quicker.
But there's also a little bit of sorrow, and he sighs a little. ]
You left out all the unsavoury parts.
[ Claude isn't lacking for self-esteem, and he isn't one to self-flagellate, but he doesn't want to be painted as a tragic hero either. ]
so yves lightly pinches and pulls claude's cheek here, even as he feels that sorrow. he raises a brow almost in challenge. yves has a tendency to keep things sweet, yes, but he can see the request for what it is. ]
Fine. You've self-admitted that you're petty! You're moody and opinionated even though you don't share what half those opinions are so I have to guess what you're mad about. You're secretive and distant and prone to going off on your own even after I nagged you about letting me tag along. You're not used to mourning people even though you have so many lives in your care, and feel awkward about showing emotion or vulnerability. You've made choices that have cost people their lives, and felt you were in the right until people confronted you about it. Even if I do believe that your heart is always in the right place, I'm not so blind that I don't see the ways you can be frustrating.
[ and then to lighten the mood: ] You still haven't given me a real gift even though I've told you I obviously wanted one and even gave you one, hoping you'd remember! You're a flirt and a tease that makes me look tame even though you're not actually looking for anything! And somehow, you're still shy? How?
[ GOD
and despite all this, yves's emotions don't change. maybe they grow more somber, more serious at first, but the affection and loyalty don't fluctuate or dip. he stops pulling at claude's cheek, just leaning forward enough to rest his forehead against claude's, annoying and persistent in his own way. a gesture that speaks to his greedy desire of don't get caught up in your head, look only at me. ]
You are imperfect and I still love you. Exactly as you are.
[ HEY... HIS CHEEK... despite asking for this Claude looks a little affronted, though it's not really genuine. ]
I'm not that moody. And what's wrong with wanting space?
[ He's actually a little frustrated with himself. Was he that easy to read? He supposes it's probably a good thing, considering how he wants to be better understood, and more open with his friends.
But it's still a little novel to be so perceived. Confusing. A little tense like he's waiting for an attack. ]
But alright. I'll concede that you've proven your point.
[ the only attack he's getting is when yves kisses his cheek in a playful, teasing way before pulling back to give him space again ]
You're being a little moody now.
[ given all these little feelings flitting in the space between them, but yves is clearly just still having a great time. he feels his point has been proven and his feelings understood, and as long as that's the case, he's content.
and just to get ahead of claude worrying about any weirdness between them: ]
You're one of my best friends, Claude. I'm happy with that.
[ There is a spark of embarrassment. He's not even a bottom, why does he have to feel like this. Feeling flustered and confused... Still unsure how they got to this point.
Yves seems at ease and unbothered, but Claude can't help the worry. He doesn't want to hurt him. Doesn't want to disappoint him. Doesn't want to fail to meet expectations. ]
I see.
[ But he's not going to play games or put on a facade, and if Yves is happy with their friendship, then he'll just have to believe him. ]
I'm glad that you told me. [ Even if he's been o_o about it. ] I wish that I could wholeheartedly return your feelings, but I... I don't think I'm there.
[ claude you are so funny and awkward and yves loves you so much. even with his words, that doesn't disappear. there's no disappointment because he never expected anything. claude is too wonderful for someone like him, and he knew that long before he closed the gap between them. someone with such a wide worldview couldn't have time for someone as small as yves.
yves holds claude's hand back without hesitation, a little burst of happiness just from the touch, to not be reviled for his brief (and now halted) advances. a rejection, if it's this warm, is still a comfort. ]
The fact that you even wish you could is more than I could've dreamed of. [ even now yves feels like a hideous monster—so for claude to be so sweet to him feels so lucky ]
You don't have to be anywhere. [ gently, because he can feel some of that worry ] Ever. I told you because all I want you to know is that I love you. Without conditions or expectations. That if I could choose anyone, it'd be you.
I don't even think one conversation will be enough to express how much you mean to me... but I hope it'll open your heart to trying to understand even a little.
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no subject
WHO KISSES YOU ON THE MOUTHSLKDHFSDF
CLAUDE THIS IS WHY HE DID THIS THIS WEEK HE'S GOING TO THROTTLE YOU ]
Quiet ceremony with family and friends? We'd have to find a way to get an invite, of course. [ looping arms with claude as he usually does, just going on a walk with him ]
But I feel like there has to be some kind of battle component for them both. Like it just wouldn't be a proper wedding for them without some kind of fun brawl.
[ do you want to fastforward to when he's not cursed anymore spoon or do you want to plan out 7 weddings for real ]
no subject
Once wedding fever has passed, Claude will return back to normal, and reality once again returns to his senses. It's accompanied by confusion AGAIN, a bit of anxiety, and a slight bit of fear.
He goes silent a month before looking at Yves, feeling a little uncertain. ]
Why did you confess like that, earlier?
no subject
at the question, he tilts his head ]
I guess I thought you were cute, and just felt like it? [ claude planning weddings is hilarious and sometimes yves is a creature of whimsy ]
Ah, but I should've asked before I kissed you... Please excuse my impatience.
no subject
Anyway, the steadiness of Yves' emotions does get him to relax a little, though there's still a sense of worry coming off him. And embarrassment at being called cute. ]
That's okay.
[ He also thinks it's funny to kiss people out of the blue. ]
But, okay. It's alright with you then, if we remain as friends only?
no subject
Of course. You're one of my closest friends here, Claude. I treasure that more than anything.
[ there's no surprise or hurt at the request to be found. he anticipated this, after all. ]
Though I wonder... do you know why I confessed to you?
[ just. flipping the question around ]
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But also ? ]
To be honest, I have no idea.
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I thought so!
[ silly guy. yves just reaches his hand out, palm up? hand hold? HANDHOLD? ]
Is it okay if I explain? I promise I still won't expect anything.
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If you'd like to.
[ Apprehensive like this is going to end with him embarrassed. ]
no subject
I like you, in a way that's different from how I love everyone. [ he loves claude that way too, but he's said that before. he doesn't think he needs to repeat himself ] But sometimes I think that you might hear what I say when I tell you I care about you, but don't understand it.
So... it feels better to say it this week, when it's harder to misunderstand.
[ but clearly not impossible thinks about claude thinking it's feelings of friendship after getting kissed
because yves's general disposition is a positive one, a coping mechanism from everything he's been through. he approaches everyone with adoration and friendliness, sure, but as he lets his gaze fall down to where he's holding claude's hand it's easier to linger on the other feelings that come through. loyalty. trust. devotion. a whisper of a feeling that carries only a vague hope of i want to stay with you. ]
It's impulse for me to want to protect people... so it's like—I've died for others, and I don't regret that. But... if I'd like to try to live, it's because of you.
Because I want to be at your side for as long as I can, even if it's just as your friend. I know you already have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and I'd rather not add to your troubles so...
I don't really mind if my feelings aren't returned, as long as they're understood. You've done a lot for me, just by being yourself and speaking your mind. I don't think it's a surprise that I could come to love you even more for it.
[ all he wants is for claude to understand what it means, for once, to be loved for who he is. to be chosen, too. ]
no subject
He's just... himself. He doesn't see what the big deal is, or why it warrants such affection or care.
But he doesn't think he's ever felt the way that Yves does, and maybe that's why he doesn't understand. It makes him a little sad, actually. It seems lovely. ]
You really are so bold with your words...
[ Ah. Embarrassment. It's a lot to take, so he just closes his eyes, glad that he has too much melanin to blush easily. ]
I hear you. And I'm grateful that you'd take the time to make yourself clear. [ Squeezing his hand. ] Um... what else should I say?
no subject
but after the squeeze of his hand, he'll pull away just so that he can throw his arms around claude's shoulders for a hug, warm and loving ]
Only what you want to say. I'm not looking for anything in particular, you know?
[ he really did just want to make a point. claude doesn't have to love him back. there is maybe just a whisper of that yearning, that wishing, but it passes so quickly it's like a blink.
he pulls back, letting his hands fall on claude's shoulders ]
But you'll have to tell me if there's anything left that you don't understand. I'd hate to still have anything left unsaid.
no subject
And while he'd been happy to leave it at that, his brow furrows as he gives his words due consideration. ]
I suppose there is one thing.
[ Looking at him, confused. ]
How can you say all this when you barely know me?
no subject
[ a smile, amused. it's not like yves doesn't notice, but he does turn the tables enough times that it doesn't bother him too greatly. he's not the type to overstep into someone's privacy. ]
I wouldn't say I barely know you... I do think I know the more important things about your character, but if you think there's information I'm missing then I'm happy to learn more. [ claude reveals himself as a serial killer in this moment ] You don't have to confess your entire life story to me for me to trust you... I like to think I read between the lines a bit better than that.
To me... you're someone hardworking to the point that sometimes you don't give yourself a moment to rest. You do this because you feel a strong sense of duty to the people in your care, and don't want to fail them. You have a well-developed sense of how you believe other people should be treated, and hate unfair and shallow judgment to the point of it becoming a personal ire. You're a little awkward at comforting people, but you try anyway—and for me, it's been more than enough every time. You're clumsy at farm work, but you're still up for new things, and enjoy taking the moment to relax that comes after labor. You like people and mischief and wyverns and books.
[ yves brings a hand up to rest against claude's cheek, gentle and affectionate. he thinks briefly about how in claude's memory he is apparently a king and he never mentioned it, but admittedly that's not what yves cares about. titles mean nothing to him. ]
You sometimes forget to give yourself time to be a person, because you are so often a problem solver. But my favorite moments with you are when we get to play and laugh and relax. I love all these things about you, and I think I'll love whatever else I learn.
Is that a little clearer?
no subject
But there's also a little bit of sorrow, and he sighs a little. ]
You left out all the unsavoury parts.
[ Claude isn't lacking for self-esteem, and he isn't one to self-flagellate, but he doesn't want to be painted as a tragic hero either. ]
no subject
so yves lightly pinches and pulls claude's cheek here, even as he feels that sorrow. he raises a brow almost in challenge. yves has a tendency to keep things sweet, yes, but he can see the request for what it is. ]
Fine. You've self-admitted that you're petty! You're moody and opinionated even though you don't share what half those opinions are so I have to guess what you're mad about. You're secretive and distant and prone to going off on your own even after I nagged you about letting me tag along. You're not used to mourning people even though you have so many lives in your care, and feel awkward about showing emotion or vulnerability. You've made choices that have cost people their lives, and felt you were in the right until people confronted you about it. Even if I do believe that your heart is always in the right place, I'm not so blind that I don't see the ways you can be frustrating.
[ and then to lighten the mood: ] You still haven't given me a real gift even though I've told you I obviously wanted one and even gave you one, hoping you'd remember! You're a flirt and a tease that makes me look tame even though you're not actually looking for anything! And somehow, you're still shy? How?
[ GOD
and despite all this, yves's emotions don't change. maybe they grow more somber, more serious at first, but the affection and loyalty don't fluctuate or dip. he stops pulling at claude's cheek, just leaning forward enough to rest his forehead against claude's, annoying and persistent in his own way. a gesture that speaks to his greedy desire of don't get caught up in your head, look only at me. ]
You are imperfect and I still love you. Exactly as you are.
no subject
I'm not that moody. And what's wrong with wanting space?
[ He's actually a little frustrated with himself. Was he that easy to read? He supposes it's probably a good thing, considering how he wants to be better understood, and more open with his friends.
But it's still a little novel to be so perceived. Confusing. A little tense like he's waiting for an attack. ]
But alright. I'll concede that you've proven your point.
no subject
You're being a little moody now.
[ given all these little feelings flitting in the space between them, but yves is clearly just still having a great time. he feels his point has been proven and his feelings understood, and as long as that's the case, he's content.
and just to get ahead of claude worrying about any weirdness between them: ]
You're one of my best friends, Claude. I'm happy with that.
no subject
Yves seems at ease and unbothered, but Claude can't help the worry. He doesn't want to hurt him. Doesn't want to disappoint him. Doesn't want to fail to meet expectations. ]
I see.
[ But he's not going to play games or put on a facade, and if Yves is happy with their friendship, then he'll just have to believe him. ]
I'm glad that you told me. [ Even if he's been o_o about it. ] I wish that I could wholeheartedly return your feelings, but I... I don't think I'm there.
[ He just takes one of Yves' hands. ]
no subject
yves holds claude's hand back without hesitation, a little burst of happiness just from the touch, to not be reviled for his brief (and now halted) advances. a rejection, if it's this warm, is still a comfort. ]
The fact that you even wish you could is more than I could've dreamed of. [ even now yves feels like a hideous monster—so for claude to be so sweet to him feels so lucky ]
You don't have to be anywhere. [ gently, because he can feel some of that worry ] Ever. I told you because all I want you to know is that I love you. Without conditions or expectations. That if I could choose anyone, it'd be you.
I don't even think one conversation will be enough to express how much you mean to me... but I hope it'll open your heart to trying to understand even a little.