[ The horrible game... I realised we curfewed in Whoville I should've started in that neighbourhood instead but oh well. Thanks Yves it was probably a really shitty text, and for the record, the rest of these will also be shitty and inscrutable. ]
[ i'm sorry marcoh you're going to have to wait so long... he's not in whoville either... but maybe that means you'll be a little closer to where you actually need to go
but he really seems like he's fighting against his demons here, torn between leaning too much on another person and also being so heartbroken he's scared to be alone
eventually, he does respond - one word quick, like he wanted to hit send before he chickened out ]
[ the cave currently looks like that same field of pitch black lycoris flowers that marcoh had seen before, gently swaying in the wind. eventually the field gives way to a cliffside, and that's where there's just a little shadowy ball of a figure at the edge of it
he still doesn't speak, but he shifts slightly at the sound of his name and marcoh's voice specifically. he lifts his head almost shyly, but the tear tracks are a little too obvious ]
[ He's coming through. He isn't afraid of no illusion flowers. He kind of tries to take the path Yves showed him before but he's big and he's more concerned about being there quicker than being careful with these.
And he's here, standing a few feet away from him. He got all the way here and only now realises he doesn't even know what to say. He shoves his hands into his jacket pockets deep and frowns. ]
[ marcoh's sorry and yves doesn't know why. it's not his fault. maybe it's because he trusts too much and too readily, but he doesn't know who would hurt adolphe like this.
he wants to get the words out, he really does. he wants to have a single coherent thought, but right now it's just a jumble.
so instead he's just going to feel so stupid and so raw, and lift his arms out to marcoh obviously asking for a hug ]
[ there were a grand total of two people in their little heaven adjacent that yves would have felt comfortable breaking down on—and now one of them's gone. he's not sure if it's a blessing or a curse that he feels safe doing so in front of marcoh now, because it brings up the scary idea that maybe he'll disappear too.
even still, in this moment there's not even enough room for fear when the heartbreak feels so big. he clings onto marcoh, and even though he's still struggling to find words, it's not long before he starts sobbing. ]
[ Yeah. This is fair, he thinks. He pats the small of Yves's back slowly, not saying anything but his usual stoic self. He's no good at the affection sort of stuff, but being comforting? It comes with years of being little else but a big brother and a provider, everyman for one baby sister. It's easier to handle the more emotionally open versus the opposite.
Still sad though. Devastating, for Yves. And he does feel sorry for that. ]
It's okay.
[ The situation isn't, but this is. He promises. ]
[ if you're looking for emotionally open, look no further!
yves is a mess—and there is a shame in that. he will pull himself together by tomorrow. he knows that. but for right now, he cries. with a heart that loves so freely and gives so generously, it's a miracle that he isn't battered and broken more often. but this is such a specific wound, one that hasn't healed over years, and to have it torn open again brings an ache that he hasn't known in a very, very long time.
it takes some time for the rush of crying to subside—but it feels nice to not be alone. for just this little bit of time.
marcoh says it's okay, but once he starts to get his breath back, he still whispers almost habitually: ] I'm sorry. Thank you.
[ Yves can leave a funny tear stain on his jacket all he wants to. He can get as gross as he wants. Marcoh won't care, he doesn't hold things like feeling and embarrassment and grief against others. Never had, but due to certain folk, makes sure he never will. It should never be weak to be human.
He'll be here all the while. ]
It's okay.
[ It's just a repeat, but it counts all the more. ]
I think there are better things for you to do than to be pestered if you are alright.
[ He doesn't mean this badly, he knows everyone cares. Except for whatever bitch killed Adolphe I guess. But he knows that could be very overwhelming and sometimes it's just better to have some time to yourself to breathe, maybe with one or two trusted. Me looking at my other PC like Lucas is out there... right outside... ]
I may like to just check in with a few, but you aren't keeping me. [ A pause. ] You can keep me, is what I mean.
[ his phone is probably blowing up in the background from how many people are texting him and worrying. it's enough to make his heart ache from pure fondness—it would if he wasn't still picking up the pieces from his best friend's death.
he manages a small smile and starts to loosen his hold on marcoh, enough so that he can pull away comfortably if he wants ]
... I won't be greedy. You've already given me plenty. I'll probably still be here by the time you're done.
We will get an explanation, sooner or later. Promise.
I will keep trying. I will beat it out of them if it comes down to it.
[ It likely won't but like... just in terms of trying to be encouraging? Unfortunately he's kind of bad at anything that doesn't include empty promises and punching things. ]
[ marcoh.... yves just smiles faintly at that, even though it's still so depressed. he'll lift his head enough just enough so he can reach out to cup marcoh's cheek ]
I know you don't like being angry. So I don't want you to beat anyone.
[ marcoh is meant for HUGS ]
... I said we'd figure it out together, and I do mean it. [ a little wearily, because he knows he's in a State today: ] I'll be better by tomorrow.
[ we really adopted this fourth guy into the virche cast.
but yves will be content with that, drawing his hand back and letting himself just relax back into marcoh's hold with a sigh. ]
... but thank you. For caring about me enough to be willing to get a little angry.
[ he doesn't want it. he meant what he said that life is better when marcoh is happier. but... it's nice, to be cared about in every little way. and he doesn't want to turn away from that ]
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week 1, friday
but he will text marcoh back eventually. it takes an extremely long time, like he was deeply wrestling with it ]
Can I lean on you again?
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Yes
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but he really seems like he's fighting against his demons here, torn between leaning too much on another person and also being so heartbroken he's scared to be alone
eventually, he does respond - one word quick, like he wanted to hit send before he chickened out ]
cave
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because he does!!! He comes at a run-jog, actually, entering da Cave. ]
Yves?
[ Where are you buddy. ]
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he still doesn't speak, but he shifts slightly at the sound of his name and marcoh's voice specifically. he lifts his head almost shyly, but the tear tracks are a little too obvious ]
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And he's here, standing a few feet away from him. He got all the way here and only now realises he doesn't even know what to say. He shoves his hands into his jacket pockets deep and frowns. ]
... I'm sorry.
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he wants to get the words out, he really does. he wants to have a single coherent thought, but right now it's just a jumble.
so instead he's just going to feel so stupid and so raw, and lift his arms out to marcoh obviously asking for a hug ]
Please?
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[ He isn't surprised but it's still sad. He'll come over and bend down by Yves at the cliffside and give him a hug.
It's comforting. This one's easier, actually -- he knows how to give this one very well. ]
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even still, in this moment there's not even enough room for fear when the heartbreak feels so big. he clings onto marcoh, and even though he's still struggling to find words, it's not long before he starts sobbing. ]
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Still sad though. Devastating, for Yves. And he does feel sorry for that. ]
It's okay.
[ The situation isn't, but this is. He promises. ]
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yves is a mess—and there is a shame in that. he will pull himself together by tomorrow. he knows that. but for right now, he cries. with a heart that loves so freely and gives so generously, it's a miracle that he isn't battered and broken more often. but this is such a specific wound, one that hasn't healed over years, and to have it torn open again brings an ache that he hasn't known in a very, very long time.
it takes some time for the rush of crying to subside—but it feels nice to not be alone. for just this little bit of time.
marcoh says it's okay, but once he starts to get his breath back, he still whispers almost habitually: ] I'm sorry. Thank you.
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He'll be here all the while. ]
It's okay.
[ It's just a repeat, but it counts all the more. ]
Will you be here the rest of today?
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hearing it from marcoh does help, even if yves's faith is not nearly so immediate. not in this moment, at least.
he'll still cling on even as his breathing slows, the immediacy of his world ending again leaving him like the come and go of the tide. ]
... probably. [ softly ] I don't think I'm good company today. I... don't know what to say to people.
But I won't keep you.
[ if marcoh already came this far to comfort him, that's enough ]
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[ He doesn't mean this badly, he knows everyone cares. Except for whatever bitch killed Adolphe I guess. But he knows that could be very overwhelming and sometimes it's just better to have some time to yourself to breathe, maybe with one or two trusted. Me looking at my other PC like Lucas is out there... right outside... ]
I may like to just check in with a few, but you aren't keeping me. [ A pause. ] You can keep me, is what I mean.
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[ his phone is probably blowing up in the background from how many people are texting him and worrying. it's enough to make his heart ache from pure fondness—it would if he wasn't still picking up the pieces from his best friend's death.
he manages a small smile and starts to loosen his hold on marcoh, enough so that he can pull away comfortably if he wants ]
... I won't be greedy. You've already given me plenty. I'll probably still be here by the time you're done.
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Did I not say you can be greedy?
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his hold tightens again, and he lets his head pillow against marcoh's (stacked) chest ]
I'm trying to be good.
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I think God would understand sparing you at least one day of grace.
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… do you still believe in God here, Marcoh?
[ yves goes through the motions for lucas but ]
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Some think gods are infallible, but the truth is that they are just different. Their rights and wrongs are not ours.
But Alll-mer was once human too.
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I think God needs to explain to me how I can lose my best friend twice in a place so close to Heaven.
[ why this wound again? ]
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I will keep trying. I will beat it out of them if it comes down to it.
[ It likely won't but like... just in terms of trying to be encouraging? Unfortunately he's kind of bad at anything that doesn't include empty promises and punching things. ]
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I know you don't like being angry. So I don't want you to beat anyone.
[ marcoh is meant for HUGS ]
... I said we'd figure it out together, and I do mean it. [ a little wearily, because he knows he's in a State today: ] I'll be better by tomorrow.
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I won't.
[ He gets to focus all his energy and attention to making sure the remaining Two Out Of Four Guys are ok. Yayyy. ]
We will.
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but yves will be content with that, drawing his hand back and letting himself just relax back into marcoh's hold with a sigh. ]
... but thank you. For caring about me enough to be willing to get a little angry.
[ he doesn't want it. he meant what he said that life is better when marcoh is happier. but... it's nice, to be cared about in every little way. and he doesn't want to turn away from that ]
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