Well this doesn't really feel like something he should be seeing, but it's a little hard when it echoes all around you. And he's mad. Only a soft sadness when they all start fearing him for his wounds, but it turns into an anger proper when his parents start going the extra mile, kicking around this kid like he never meant anything at all. ]
he watches it all again, and he frowns but it's nothing heartbroken. not anymore. he's never hated his parents or anyone else after what happened to him, and it doesn't really occur to him now. he looks over to marcoh and offers a tilt of his head. if anything, he looks a bit guilty. ]
[ well. fair enough then. he opens his mouth as if his impulse is to apologize again, but then he just settles on a nod ]
Okay. [ said softly, like he's not sure what else to say ] Then... thank you for still being here, Marcoh, even though that must've been upsetting to watch.
I think... I have flaws like anybody else. And I wish they... could've been a little more compassionate.
[ rubs the back of his neck, like he's trying to figure out how to be reasonable and also... honest, when he doesn't feel the same anger marcoh does. not for himself, anyway ]
Kids are allowed to have "flaws". That was not one.
[ None of that was his fault and it's appalling to demonise your own child for an accident, especially one where he tried to save another child from the fire. Should be a saint if anything, or Marcoh's world's equivalent since things are a bit weird over here. ]
[ yves opens his mouth to try to respond—and he flounders with it, because anything he can say would be something he doesn't believe. of course kids are allowed to have flaws. of course yves would find this situation unacceptable if it happened to anyone but him.
so instead he just rubs the back of his neck uncertainly and looks away ]
... I wish I could give you an answer you wanted, Marcoh. [ he doesn't think he can, so instead he'll just say ] ... thank you for caring.
I'm not saying pick a fight. And I'm not saying it is bad to be able to forgive the way you do.
It is your choice, I know. But it feels unfair to forgive those parents, those priests, all of them, for what they did to that child. Not without an apology at least.
[ HE MEANS IN THE SENSE OF. JUST SOFTENING IT SO THAT IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE HE'S BEING LIKE YVES YOU NEED TO GET IRREVOCABLY ANGRY. Just be a normal amount of upset.
Marcoh crosses his arms over his chest, clearly still wanting to disagree on his behalf, but he can hardly say anything that would solve this. ]
If anyone else gives you trouble ever again, I'm punching them instead.
[ MARCOH IS SO RIGHT and even hearing that, yves is having trouble processing it. a normal amount of upset? on his own behalf? it's just not happening. he literally cannot express emotions of contempt. that mild itty bitty pouty dissatisfaction he felt was literally as good as it got
yves is surprised at the offer but he's waving a hand ]
You know I can stand up for myself, right? Really. I've gotten better at it.
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Well this doesn't really feel like something he should be seeing, but it's a little hard when it echoes all around you. And he's mad. Only a soft sadness when they all start fearing him for his wounds, but it turns into an anger proper when his parents start going the extra mile, kicking around this kid like he never meant anything at all. ]
Yves.
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it is his life.
he watches it all again, and he frowns but it's nothing heartbroken. not anymore. he's never hated his parents or anyone else after what happened to him, and it doesn't really occur to him now. he looks over to marcoh and offers a tilt of his head. if anything, he looks a bit guilty. ]
I'm okay. Sorry you had to see that.
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[ Gods he can't deal with all you sad people. And by that he means please have an ounce of self-respect. ]
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[ so he's sorry that people had to see it! but he frowns, confused ]
Did I say something wrong?
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[ well. fair enough then. he opens his mouth as if his impulse is to apologize again, but then he just settles on a nod ]
Okay. [ said softly, like he's not sure what else to say ] Then... thank you for still being here, Marcoh, even though that must've been upsetting to watch.
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No matter what they say.
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[ rubs the back of his neck, like he's trying to figure out how to be reasonable and also... honest, when he doesn't feel the same anger marcoh does. not for himself, anyway ]
I was just... trying my best, too.
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[ None of that was his fault and it's appalling to demonise your own child for an accident, especially one where he tried to save another child from the fire. Should be a saint if anything, or Marcoh's world's equivalent since things are a bit weird over here. ]
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so instead he just rubs the back of his neck uncertainly and looks away ]
... I wish I could give you an answer you wanted, Marcoh. [ he doesn't think he can, so instead he'll just say ] ... thank you for caring.
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On...?
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[ even if he's
far too understanding when it does come up so maybe he's not the best judge of this ]
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It is your choice, I know. But it feels unfair to forgive those parents, those priests, all of them, for what they did to that child. Not without an apology at least.
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... I don't think I'm ever going to see them again. I don't think about them often, or ever, unless something like this happens.
[ when he's forced to confront the truth of what happened to him ]
For me, I think that's enough.
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Marcoh crosses his arms over his chest, clearly still wanting to disagree on his behalf, but he can hardly say anything that would solve this. ]
If anyone else gives you trouble ever again, I'm punching them instead.
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yves is surprised at the offer but he's waving a hand ]
You know I can stand up for myself, right? Really. I've gotten better at it.
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I will let you know when I am satisfied with it.
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I don't want you to be unhappy with me...
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okay normally the puppy dog eyes work enough that he gets his way so the pouting takes on a lil bit more of a fussed tint to it ]
... I can try, but I don't know how to change who I am anymore.
[ how many times can a guy rewire his own brain chemistry ]
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[ he rubs the back of his neck ]
Even if someone is rude to me, that doesn't mean they're not deserving of love.
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[ He supposes he doesn't have to explain the intricacies of it to him. Yves doesn't feel pain but it doesn't mean he can't understand concepts. ]
I trust you but I want to see it going to people who won't trash it so easily. That is all.
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