But... if something's muddling his mind... I don't know. It feels like he's so reasonable and can talk to me about all sorts of things and our problems, except... he gets really stuck on certain things.
Unfortunately, those certain things can decide the fate of our home and whether it has a future.
If you want to, but... I do appreciate your relationship with Monsieur Lucas, Jacopo. I think he can understand that you care about him, so it might be really meaningful.
I just hope you don't feel responsible or anything for him.
[ Because despite being a madman, wrapped in his own ghosts, solitude, and the distance he sets, Jacopo cares so deeply. He's a man who begets undying devotion, everlasting love, but there is nowhere for it to go when you have no one and seldom let anyone in.
So as Lucas' friends—he wouldn't call himself that still, he hasn't forgiven him, still heavily traumatized as he is—shouldn't they be trying? ]
It feels like he's trapped within himself when I look at him.
[ and yves does understand, because he has been trying. ]
It's... interesti— [ a beat ] No, it's tough. [ he'll choose the correct word for what he's feeling, rather than the casual one ] It's difficult and frustrating.
Because he can so easily shut people out again. He'll misdirect and lie and I'm worried that if we push too hard, he'll retreat entirely. I've known Monsieur Lucas since I was 13 and I loved him right up to the day that he died. I didn't know this in all my years because he kept is so close to the chest and there was no way of revealing it.
I'll keep trying—but I don't even know when this started. There's so many years of pain. I can love him unconditionally and I do, but I don't know how to get through to him at all when it feels like he barely even tries to listen to me.
... Proust is already broken, Yves, and he's denying it. If he retreats, then you break him into pieces.
[ The voices are loud again, starting with the lord. You are cruel to your core! Cornering a man with a frayed mind who has found a haven in the silence, in stillness! Are you anticipating the thrill of seeing someone succumb like you?
Then him, but when he was a better man, ... Haven't you ruined enough? It would have been better if god didn't bring us here. We could have returned to nothing, instead of... This. ]
Then piece him back together.
[ Because no one has done that for him, except for one single piece he has held onto so tightly. ]
I'm glad you're here, Jacopo. I don't think you're being cruel. I think you're being honest.
[ because sometimes yves will simply argue with the voices in someone else's head ]
.... if you really think that's what we should do, I'll talk to Adolphe about it. I can do my best. If you want to help, I'll take any advice that you can give.
[ because yves thinks he knows what could fix him (that love he's always been looking for) but he has no clue what could fix anybody else when that love he gives falls short ]
[ He isn't acknowledging them, even though they became loud suddenly... It may be difficult because people can hear them, which he hates, but he lived years with these ghosts and functioned without a single person knowing any better.
They don't need to be accounted for. They are nothing to him when he makes decisions. wait this isn't even the next week i forgot oops. ]
I don't know much about handling this myself, [ WHO WOULD ] so I wouldn't take it as advice, but you shouldn't be so gentle with him if that's not working already. He has to see.
... I don't think Monsieur Lucas has exactly grasped that his sister passes shortly after him.
[ yves' brow furrows ]
I'm from a few years ahead of him and... they both passed a long time ago. I thought he'd stay in Heaven to wait for her. I struggle to imagine him... ever leaving her.
[ does not understand worldlines, timelines, and how this is messy to try to figure out because he's from the middle ages ]
I also struggle to imagine and that wouldn't be fair. [ Though also a punishment, a consequence. Sweet Nadia doesn't deserve that, though. ] Hopefully, he can be reasoned with soon.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Is just cracking down on drugs the answers here? ]
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[ looks frustrated again ]
But... if something's muddling his mind... I don't know. It feels like he's so reasonable and can talk to me about all sorts of things and our problems, except... he gets really stuck on certain things.
Unfortunately, those certain things can decide the fate of our home and whether it has a future.
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Does this mean I should ask him?
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If you want to, but... I do appreciate your relationship with Monsieur Lucas, Jacopo. I think he can understand that you care about him, so it might be really meaningful.
I just hope you don't feel responsible or anything for him.
[ how do you help another madman.... ]
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[ Because despite being a madman, wrapped in his own ghosts, solitude, and the distance he sets, Jacopo cares so deeply. He's a man who begets undying devotion, everlasting love, but there is nowhere for it to go when you have no one and seldom let anyone in.
So as Lucas' friends—he wouldn't call himself that still, he hasn't forgiven him, still heavily traumatized as he is—shouldn't they be trying? ]
It feels like he's trapped within himself when I look at him.
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[ and yves does understand, because he has been trying. ]
It's... interesti— [ a beat ] No, it's tough. [ he'll choose the correct word for what he's feeling, rather than the casual one ] It's difficult and frustrating.
Because he can so easily shut people out again. He'll misdirect and lie and I'm worried that if we push too hard, he'll retreat entirely. I've known Monsieur Lucas since I was 13 and I loved him right up to the day that he died. I didn't know this in all my years because he kept is so close to the chest and there was no way of revealing it.
I'll keep trying—but I don't even know when this started. There's so many years of pain. I can love him unconditionally and I do, but I don't know how to get through to him at all when it feels like he barely even tries to listen to me.
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[ The voices are loud again, starting with the lord. You are cruel to your core! Cornering a man with a frayed mind who has found a haven in the silence, in stillness! Are you anticipating the thrill of seeing someone succumb like you?
Then him, but when he was a better man, ... Haven't you ruined enough? It would have been better if god didn't bring us here. We could have returned to nothing, instead of... This. ]
Then piece him back together.
[ Because no one has done that for him, except for one single piece he has held onto so tightly. ]
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I'm glad you're here, Jacopo. I don't think you're being cruel. I think you're being honest.
[ because sometimes yves will simply argue with the voices in someone else's head ]
.... if you really think that's what we should do, I'll talk to Adolphe about it. I can do my best. If you want to help, I'll take any advice that you can give.
[ because yves thinks he knows what could fix him (that love he's always been looking for) but he has no clue what could fix anybody else when that love he gives falls short ]
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[ He isn't acknowledging them, even though they became loud suddenly... It may be difficult because people can hear them, which he hates, but he lived years with these ghosts and functioned without a single person knowing any better.
They don't need to be accounted for. They are nothing to him when he makes decisions. wait this isn't even the next week i forgot oops. ]
I don't know much about handling this myself, [ WHO WOULD ] so I wouldn't take it as advice, but you shouldn't be so gentle with him if that's not working already. He has to see.
... And be ready to catch him, when it happens.
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I will. I won't let him suffer in it alone, if I'm actually able to get through to him.
[ what's one more crazy friend on the brink for yves to try to save? ]
But... you're right. The current approach isn't working, so...
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Then I wish for the best for you all since I imagine you're all returning.
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[ a beat ]
No.... Only Monsieur Lucas was planning on returning, which I... was hoping to talk him out of anyway....
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[ But maybe they'll figure it out. ]
Then wherever you three decide to go.
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[ yves' brow furrows ]
I'm from a few years ahead of him and... they both passed a long time ago. I thought he'd stay in Heaven to wait for her. I struggle to imagine him... ever leaving her.
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I also struggle to imagine and that wouldn't be fair. [ Though also a punishment, a consequence. Sweet Nadia doesn't deserve that, though. ] Hopefully, he can be reasoned with soon.