[ Why did my phone suggest Shud after yes. Losing it. Anyway come on in (aki voice) it... it is a room. Yves is free to sit wherever ig since his roomie is Lucas, Marcoh's side is predominantly this fucking king sized bed so that's sitting space. ]
[ he'll walk in then and honestly he normally probably sits on marcoh's bed when he visits, but today he sits on lucas' bed because he's still feeling uncertain about his relationship with (checks notes) everyone.
but he can go into facts pretty easily. his bad vibes mute out so he can get to business. ]
When the mailbox opened, I sent a letter to Brimstone first. I asked him if it was self-defense, because I thought I should at least hear him out. He said I was the first person to ask, and said it wasn't. He said that they both attacked each other, and Samuel was the victor through "luck".
So... I asked her about it yesterday, because I wanted to know the truth. She... was scared and she made me promise not to tell anyone. [ a pang of remorse ] But she said... she didn't know what came over her. She just attacked him, and they fought.
She doesn't know if he was affected too... but that's what happened. She didn't tell me anything else.
[ it's a little barebones but. he was a little busy with emotional comfort at the time ]
[ He faces Yves the whole time they talk. Marchao is here btw, giving Yves a curious coo and coming over from where he usually hangs with Shud. He's happy to just sit at his feet while he's visiting. ]
It's as much of a confession as any. She made it sound like it was entirely on Brim.
[ Muttered. ]
... And her probably being a killer again, proves the point.
[ oh yes yves probably waved at shud and marchao when arriving, but he will pick up marchao and put it in his lap to give pets..... marchao doesn't know what horrors yves committed today ]
... I didn't think I'd be too late. [ another pang of guilt. god! no he has to keep it together ]
I told her that I wanted to ask the angels about what happened to people we miss and... I got the answer this morning. After Mizu said that death doesn't have to be painful, and most people seemed to be in agreement...
[ Yeah this seems logical enough for him. He grimaces a little bit about it but he does nod after a second. Marchao is super happy to be in Yves's lap btw, or as happy as a chao based on Marcoh can be. Just coos and does a small wriggle in place. ]
It would have had to be done. If it had come without the loss of Ali it would have been better but we wouldn't have known for sure.
Now we know that we cannot let any killer escape or else they may do it again.
... We don't hold it against you, Yves. The votes made it clear. I'm not saying you should not feel bad, but try not to punish yourself more than necessary. We still need you here.
[ i love you marchao i would die for you. even yves's emotions soften up a little in fondness as he continues to give the chao some pets...
even if marcoh's last statement gives him some pause. his emotions stutter a little awkwardly. ]
... I think a lot of people are telling me that, and I don't feel regret for what I did exactly. I do think that it was necessary, and I did it because I wanted to save her. It's not the first time I've had to kill one of my friends.
[ though that's probably why he accidentally triggered himself and dissociated a bit ]
But... I think I'm always going to hate myself a little for betraying her trust, even if it felt necessary. I can do something necessary and still think it was cruel.
[ he really can't figure it out, when his emotions are a tumble like this. they start to rumble a bit again, now that they've covered the plot basics ]
... but could I stay with you and Monsieur Lucas tonight? Or... until I get things settled with Laurence? Just a sleeping bag on the floor is fine.
[ He's welcome to stay in a blanket pile in their weird ass room where Lucas cries at night and sometimes Marcoh just gets him a glass of water to put on his bedside so he can rehydrate in the morning... ]
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[ Why did my phone suggest Shud after yes. Losing it. Anyway come on in (aki voice) it... it is a room. Yves is free to sit wherever ig since his roomie is Lucas, Marcoh's side is predominantly this fucking king sized bed so that's sitting space. ]
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but he can go into facts pretty easily. his bad vibes mute out so he can get to business. ]
When the mailbox opened, I sent a letter to Brimstone first. I asked him if it was self-defense, because I thought I should at least hear him out. He said I was the first person to ask, and said it wasn't. He said that they both attacked each other, and Samuel was the victor through "luck".
So... I asked her about it yesterday, because I wanted to know the truth. She... was scared and she made me promise not to tell anyone. [ a pang of remorse ] But she said... she didn't know what came over her. She just attacked him, and they fought.
She doesn't know if he was affected too... but that's what happened. She didn't tell me anything else.
[ it's a little barebones but. he was a little busy with emotional comfort at the time ]
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It's as much of a confession as any. She made it sound like it was entirely on Brim.
[ Muttered. ]
... And her probably being a killer again, proves the point.
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... I didn't think I'd be too late. [ another pang of guilt. god! no he has to keep it together ]
I told her that I wanted to ask the angels about what happened to people we miss and... I got the answer this morning. After Mizu said that death doesn't have to be painful, and most people seemed to be in agreement...
[ it felt like
that was the time to act ]
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It would have had to be done. If it had come without the loss of Ali it would have been better but we wouldn't have known for sure.
Now we know that we cannot let any killer escape or else they may do it again.
... We don't hold it against you, Yves. The votes made it clear. I'm not saying you should not feel bad, but try not to punish yourself more than necessary. We still need you here.
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even if marcoh's last statement gives him some pause. his emotions stutter a little awkwardly. ]
... I think a lot of people are telling me that, and I don't feel regret for what I did exactly. I do think that it was necessary, and I did it because I wanted to save her. It's not the first time I've had to kill one of my friends.
[ though that's probably why he accidentally triggered himself and dissociated a bit ]
But... I think I'm always going to hate myself a little for betraying her trust, even if it felt necessary. I can do something necessary and still think it was cruel.
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[ He won't tell Yves to like. Not. Just don't beat yourself up about it TOO badly. ]
Thanks for telling me.
[ I'm sure we all would've liked to know a little sooner but hey that's water under the bridge now. ]
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he... nods. a little stiffly and awkwardly like he's still not sure how to interact with people anymore ]
Thanks for listening.
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[ he really can't figure it out, when his emotions are a tumble like this. they start to rumble a bit again, now that they've covered the plot basics ]
... but could I stay with you and Monsieur Lucas tonight? Or... until I get things settled with Laurence? Just a sleeping bag on the floor is fine.
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Would you rather be alone with him?
[ A familiar face... ]
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[ immediate fussing ]
I don't even know how much sleep I'm going to get tonight I just...
If I sleep outside, I'm just gonna get scolded more and Laurence will only feel guiltier if he found out...
[ so he will try to make it back inside in the familiarity of his favorite people's room ]
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[ He's welcome to stay in a blanket pile in their weird ass room where Lucas cries at night and sometimes Marcoh just gets him a glass of water to put on his bedside so he can rehydrate in the morning... ]
We'll get something going with blankets.
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I have blankets and pillows from when I bring them around during curfew. It should be okay.
Thanks for letting me impose. I'll try to make sure it doesn't last long.
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Anyway. ]
You're not imposing.
[ A beat pause as he seems to think, and then he just. Suddenly reaches over and noogies Yves a bit. ]
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but honestly? he startles. there is a very sharp feeling of surprise and uncertainty, even as he ducks a little bit under the noogie ]
Marcoh?
[ and then just the smallest barely there sliver of hope ]
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I guess Ellie does always know best.
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[ He feels Yves knows, but it's worth saying anyway. ]
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I wish I'd stop worrying people, even still. But it keeps happening even when I don't intend it.
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I don't think I really did anything worthy of love today.
But I understand. [ does he? ]
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