......I thought about it, if things could be better. [ At the least, a different situation of Termina, but still back to Prehevil so he could help out Olivia, Tanaka, Marina. ] But Wis'adel mentioned we don't know what happens to the "old timeline", so.
[ Cannot emphasise enough that I, OOCly, am in shambles because that basically means Marcoh is going STRAIGHT back to hell but! Everything is fine. ]
I can't let that happen. It means that in that world, I would have abandoned Venere.
[ Since he died and she would just be alone, never knowing what became of him. Probably have to assume the worst, that the Family got him, except they never did. And then what? So he has to go back to the exact one he left. ]
[ Help me he would not say no to just stocking up on some goofy-ass items. He has had a preview of what Prehevil is like and he does think that if he is here anyway, then he should stock up properly! Casts balding curse on random murderhand villagers in Prehevil. ]
I am. No reason for anybody to come back with me.
[ And Uruha can't, so. A thought that does hurt him; he'd love for Uruha to come to Rondon with him but he knows he has his duty that he can't abandon, and the weight of it is something Marcoh can't -- in good conscience -- try to convince him to abandon. Life is hard when you're good people. But also it would like, require a certain degree of being able to choose when Uruha would be able to come over since Marcoh also would not like him to suddenly be counted as a contestant of Termina... ]
[ yea yea exactly just turn everyone in prehevil into a chao ]
... you should definitely at least take things with you... If Adolphe doesn't need all his stuff, I'll make him give it to you. [ JUST GIVES AWAY ADOLPHE'S STUFF WITHOUT ASKINGGGG yves you are so annoying
but also
this is a little devastating to him ]
... Uruha really can't? [ he's going to just ask the brackets part out loud, frowning ] I guess... he really is dedicated to his duty...
[ they've had that conversation too and yves is seeing the impacts real time on his marcoh.... nooooooooo ]
[ HELP ME there's a stray thought of 'did Adolphe say that was okay. based on what I know about you two I don't think you asked'
But. Yeah. There's just a wave of -- it's not even dull, it's definitely pained, not because of anything Uruha did but by the circumstance. It's actively devastating and he's trying everything he can to keep it down, focus on what remaining good he can scrape together in the time they have left without any guarantee of being able to see each other again. He's trying not to give up hope, and if he's going to have a heartbreakdown about it, it can be after he's left. ]
[ he did not ask........ don't worry about it marcoh...... doesn't matter...............
but. ah.
yves feels that wave of pain come in, and there's a moment where he's briefly stunned by it. he knows that the goodbyes will come, and they will continue to eat at him, but... he is also so, so practiced at farewells. and if these ones aren't by death, to him that's a mercy. the reality of separation wars against his innate optimism and morbid adaptability.
I can't go to his because I need to go back for Venere. [ And he's not sure if Uruha would... even let him? Considering the Hishaku are crazy and all. ] He can't come to Rondon with me because he can't abandon the people that gave their lives for him, and risk more.
[ And that's definitely not something he can just ask Uruha to abandon. Similar to how Uruha wouldn't ask Marcoh to leave Venere on her own. So.
It's unfortunate, inescapable, but it's also very them. ]
[ oh my god you and jan really doomed all over this yaoi
anyway yves... understands—not completely, but at least partially. he doesn't know what saying goodbye to someone you love would be like, because he is insane enough to follow his loved ones to the ends of the earth, but what do you do when two of your loves are in different places? his heart does ache. ]
... I don't think I have a solution. I'm sure you both have looked for whatever you could. [ softly ] I'm sorry for that.
But... I can still feel how bad it hurts you, and I'm worried about you bottling it all up.
but yves shakes his head gently even as he doesn't pull back from the hug ]
I'm not worried about that. I know you don't like the way you felt or acted, but I also don't think you were wrong. [ he will defend marcoh forever because yves thinks love is the only thing in the world worth going insane over ]
I just... don't want you to feel like you have to keep it to yourself, because you're scared of hurting other people or worrying them.
[ Help me. Yeah...... Marcoh has gone fully apeshit twice in his life now and it's been over love every time... ]
It's alright this time.
I promise.
[ Well it's not but he means in the sense of keeping it to himself or not. The grief IS something he's pushing down but it's not for the sake of pretending everything is fine, it's for the purpose of focusing on what better things they have now, with a set point where he can grieve after if he has to. It's okay. ]
[ can you imagine if you're stuck in prehevil but you're getting texts from your water bottle if you ate in the last 12 hours and to send pics of your snacks ]
Good.
[ okay he'll let go and try to brighten up at least. this yaoi is so doomed but if marcoh has made enough peace with it then... well, what can yves do? ]
Then I hope we can enjoy the time we've gotten. I keep thinking about how we never would've met if we didn't end up here, and how that's so hard for me to imagine even if it's only been two months.
[ I'm losing it just sends him a picture of mouldy bread.
He has not made peace with it but being really upset about it will not be productive right now. And he knows there's other people who don't want it to end this way, other people who want to find a method. So! All he can do is make the most of what he can, and keep hoping it isn't the end. ]
[ He can just send Yves a picture of a potato he found in a barrel if that's better... ]
...
I did.
[ He's not forthcoming with words but the vibe is definitely like... you're all really, in the end, the kindest group of people he's ever dealt with in his life, probably. ]
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You're a really wonderful person, Marcoh.
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[ Cannot emphasise enough that I, OOCly, am in shambles because that basically means Marcoh is going STRAIGHT back to hell but! Everything is fine. ]
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... I guess we don't. I sort of just... assumed that it would proceed on without me.
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[ Since he died and she would just be alone, never knowing what became of him. Probably have to assume the worst, that the Family got him, except they never did. And then what? So he has to go back to the exact one he left. ]
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[ softly ]
I know that's a risk that neither of you can take... Are you going back alone...? Will you take nothing from here with you?
[ what if he just
stocks up on bandaids there are so many just floating out there ]
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I am. No reason for anybody to come back with me.
[ And Uruha can't, so. A thought that does hurt him; he'd love for Uruha to come to Rondon with him but he knows he has his duty that he can't abandon, and the weight of it is something Marcoh can't -- in good conscience -- try to convince him to abandon. Life is hard when you're good people. But also it would like, require a certain degree of being able to choose when Uruha would be able to come over since Marcoh also would not like him to suddenly be counted as a contestant of Termina... ]
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... you should definitely at least take things with you... If Adolphe doesn't need all his stuff, I'll make him give it to you. [ JUST GIVES AWAY ADOLPHE'S STUFF WITHOUT ASKINGGGG yves you are so annoying
but also
this is a little devastating to him ]
... Uruha really can't? [ he's going to just ask the brackets part out loud, frowning ] I guess... he really is dedicated to his duty...
[ they've had that conversation too and yves is seeing the impacts real time on his marcoh.... nooooooooo ]
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But. Yeah. There's just a wave of -- it's not even dull, it's definitely pained, not because of anything Uruha did but by the circumstance. It's actively devastating and he's trying everything he can to keep it down, focus on what remaining good he can scrape together in the time they have left without any guarantee of being able to see each other again. He's trying not to give up hope, and if he's going to have a heartbreakdown about it, it can be after he's left. ]
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but. ah.
yves feels that wave of pain come in, and there's a moment where he's briefly stunned by it. he knows that the goodbyes will come, and they will continue to eat at him, but... he is also so, so practiced at farewells. and if these ones aren't by death, to him that's a mercy. the reality of separation wars against his innate optimism and morbid adaptability.
so he'll just ask this time— ]
Can I give you a hug, Marcoh?
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[ so painfully sincere but also opening his arms and reaching up to pull marcoh into a warm little embrace ]
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[ He does hug him back in his old, never-changing way. ]
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[ and that is also unflinching and sincere ]
... is it one of those things that you're afraid to talk about, because you're not sure how you'll feel if you start letting the cracks show?
Or is it something you don't know you have the words for?
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I can't go to his because I need to go back for Venere. [ And he's not sure if Uruha would... even let him? Considering the Hishaku are crazy and all. ] He can't come to Rondon with me because he can't abandon the people that gave their lives for him, and risk more.
[ And that's definitely not something he can just ask Uruha to abandon. Similar to how Uruha wouldn't ask Marcoh to leave Venere on her own. So.
It's unfortunate, inescapable, but it's also very them. ]
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anyway yves... understands—not completely, but at least partially. he doesn't know what saying goodbye to someone you love would be like, because he is insane enough to follow his loved ones to the ends of the earth, but what do you do when two of your loves are in different places? his heart does ache. ]
... I don't think I have a solution. I'm sure you both have looked for whatever you could. [ softly ] I'm sorry for that.
But... I can still feel how bad it hurts you, and I'm worried about you bottling it all up.
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...It will be fine.
It won't be like this past weekend.
[ He can say that much at least. He won't explode over it, just. Devastation. ]
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but yves shakes his head gently even as he doesn't pull back from the hug ]
I'm not worried about that. I know you don't like the way you felt or acted, but I also don't think you were wrong. [ he will defend marcoh forever because yves thinks love is the only thing in the world worth going insane over ]
I just... don't want you to feel like you have to keep it to yourself, because you're scared of hurting other people or worrying them.
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It's alright this time.
I promise.
[ Well it's not but he means in the sense of keeping it to himself or not. The grief IS something he's pushing down but it's not for the sake of pretending everything is fine, it's for the purpose of focusing on what better things they have now, with a set point where he can grieve after if he has to. It's okay. ]
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Okay.
And you can let me know if it stops being alright. I'm here again now, which means that you can't easily escape me.
[ he will lovingly pester marcoh forever (x more days) .... ]
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He huffs just a little bit, but nods. I'd say relents but he's never really been the kind to resist Yves much either. ]
I will.
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Good.
[ okay he'll let go and try to brighten up at least. this yaoi is so doomed but if marcoh has made enough peace with it then... well, what can yves do? ]
Then I hope we can enjoy the time we've gotten. I keep thinking about how we never would've met if we didn't end up here, and how that's so hard for me to imagine even if it's only been two months.
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He has not made peace with it but being really upset about it will not be productive right now. And he knows there's other people who don't want it to end this way, other people who want to find a method. So! All he can do is make the most of what he can, and keep hoping it isn't the end. ]
Got that comfortable with everyone, did you?
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but yves will still loop his arms with marcoh again... clingy.... ]
Didn't you?
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...
I did.
[ He's not forthcoming with words but the vibe is definitely like... you're all really, in the end, the kindest group of people he's ever dealt with in his life, probably. ]
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... me too.
I really meant it when I said that I've never been so loved in my whole life.
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