[ Show him your tastes, Yves... anyway he's just watching him with a mostly even expression, albeit a bit of a furrow in his brow. Almost studying him. ]
[ a little study.... yves will just go ahead and get marcoh a beer so that he can match what's already on the table. he brings it back and sets it down in front of him before taking a seat
[ he pauses for a moment, thinking about how he wants to reply ]
Because I'm a person who wants to be loved more than anything else. And when I was younger, when I realized how badly I craved it... I decided that I would love everyone, in hopes that maybe someday it would be enough to get someone to come and love me.
So when I made that decision... I gave up feelings like contempt. Spite. Hatred.
[ it was a hard rewire in his brain—in both his desperation and trauma after everything that happened to him. to rid himself of every emotion he didn't want to feel, because it would have been too heavy to carry otherwise ]
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Fine with... you drinking? Of course?
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[ But he does approach. Looks a little sad at the stupid picture... ]
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Adolphe wouldn't want me to be alone, even if I just want to spend a little more time with him. And I always want your company, Marcoh.
[ he'll get up to head to the bar ]
Wine? Beer? Something stronger? Have a seat, I'll serve.
[ yves at least did pick a table with three seats, assuming people would want to come and lecture him ]
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[ Show him your tastes, Yves... anyway he's just watching him with a mostly even expression, albeit a bit of a furrow in his brow. Almost studying him. ]
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and then because he can see that expression ]
Am I in trouble?
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You're not.
...
I just don't know how you do it.
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...? Do what?
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... well, I'm a bit abnormal. I do know that about myself.
[ reaches to take one of marcoh's hands ]
What's wrong with getting worked up? If there's any reason to, it's for situations like this.
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I don't have that kind of patience.
[ He's sure that if he was in Yves's place, he would've lost it. ]
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It's nothing like that. I'm just a twisted person in the end.
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Why do you think that?
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Because I'm a person who wants to be loved more than anything else. And when I was younger, when I realized how badly I craved it... I decided that I would love everyone, in hopes that maybe someday it would be enough to get someone to come and love me.
So when I made that decision... I gave up feelings like contempt. Spite. Hatred.
[ it was a hard rewire in his brain—in both his desperation and trauma after everything that happened to him. to rid himself of every emotion he didn't want to feel, because it would have been too heavy to carry otherwise ]
In the end... I'm just selfish and bizarre.
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Marcoh is quiet about it. ]
I don't think you're selfish. I don't think it is so strange to want to be loved.
Being able to give up everything else in pursuit of it, is impressive.
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but he looks confused. surprised ]
... you don't think I'm strange and disturbing?
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but he does admit, softly: ] ... it's okay if you get tired of it at some point. I know it can be troublesome. I know it was, today.
[ to care so much about others and want to show them love so plainly that he'll offer his own life ]
... but thank you.
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[ First and foremost. Getting to know why is always nice, if nothing else. But. ]
If you want for love, though, I think you should not be so ready to abandon it yourself either.
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... I'm probably difficult to love. For a lot of reasons.
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Two decades of experience?
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That's not "you are".
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[ but it's hard, when he keeps craving it so badly. ]
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[ Yves you are truly the sweetest most loving existence Marcoh has ever met point blank period. He clearly finds this shocking. ]
I would have preferred my sister dated someone like you.
[ Assumes he's straight too. Rip. ]
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but that makes him laugh a bit, sheepish ]
Thanks. If she's even half as sweet as you are, I think that would've been nice.
[ oughgalwkhegawklheg ]
... I think the only person here who could've had a chance of loving me was Adolphe.
[ and he sounds okay with that. maybe he did learn bisexuality this week ]
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