He's quiet. Even though there's literally no getting away from Yves here unless he just straight up dumps the guy on the ground, which he won't do, there's suddenly a palpable recession and distance, a slight lowering of his head. ]
It was for Venere.
...He threatened her once, then kept doing it if I didn't listen.
... then I think it's understandable. [ to do that for his sister, who he clearly loves so much ] He shouldn't have done that. Venere shouldn't have to put up with that.
Do... you regret it?
[ to feel this distance, the way that marcoh is retreating. what emotion is it? ]
[ a little hum of understanding, even as yves just lets his chin rest on marcoh's shoulder to try to look at his expression ]
I think getting out of the city you were in was the right move. If that's where their power is, I don't think they can follow you all that far.
... if he was bothering her, then you still gave her a chance at freedom, Marcoh. Even if it's a little risky. I hope you don't blame yourself too much when you're already doing everything you can to protect her.
I don't... regret killing Riccardo. I don't wish that I had to. But if I am asked to regret it, I don't know that I can.
It wasn't just threats. He made me do things. I never intended to get caught up in that. But he did. I may not have been the best, but if I burn, it will have been because of him.
And I'd do it again if I saw him in Hell. I wouldn't hesitate.
[ ...
His shoulders get quite tense even as they walk, but he tries to push all that back down. ]
even when he feels that tension, yves will just let his own hold around marcoh's shoulders tighten a little bit - not enough to be uncomfortable, but very much like he's trying to give him a hug from behind
it breaks his heart to hear it. the only pain yves ever knows is when he receives it secondhand from someone else, and feels the way it aches in his chest to hear the people he loves so dearly go through such suffering ]
... someone asked me this about my own situation but...
Have you ever thought that maybe your redemption is... forgiving yourself? Instead of forgiving him?
[ The close distance is the only thing that lets Yves probably catch a faint trace of his pulse. A little fast. The only thing betraying his nervousness at the very thought of it all. ]
...
The only ones who could forgive me are silent or dead.
[ marcoh...... yves will just keep giving him this hug ]
... you can forgive yourself. For the things that you were made to do, that you would have never chosen on your own. It might take time, and it might not be easy but... I suppose redemption isn't meant to be easy.
[ . . . ]
You don't deserve to burn, Marcoh. You really are very kind. And at the very least... I'll stay with you, until you arrive where you need to go.
[ Easier said than done. Isn't everything? He sits in church every damn Saturday and Sunday with the beaming stare of the crystal down on him like a hot sear, looking for murderers in the halls when he knows he himself is one. He hasn't even told Yves everything, every emotion he'd felt as he burst, and it's from his point of view too anyway. Of course he'd look sympathetic, right? That's not what they'd all say. He's sure that's not what Alll-mer would say.
Yves is right. Redemption was never meant to be easy. ]
...I think we're almost out. Then you can sit on a train, maybe have Lucas look at that leg.
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but yves just hums softly at that... there's an uncharacteristic silence from him that follows, as if he's trying to decide what to say
but he settles on: ]
... it's part of why... I don't think I can be loved as I am.
Because of the burn I got from the fire and... everything that happened after.
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[ Jsyk. There's a curiosity to the second part but he seems like he won't press for it. ]
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[ what other answer do you expect from yves ]
They're nice people. They can't all be terrible. I think they were probably just trying their best.
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Well, I've heard that before...
I don't really know how to be any other way, though.
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Maybe that can be one of the things you focus on.
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Maybe.
[ that's so convincing ]
You're trying to go back to life, right Marcoh? So you can get out of Prehevil and be with your sister.
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I need to make sure Venere will be safe first.
...It all depends on that.
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...Bad people.
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but don't worry this is new ]
... is it part of why you needed to leave Vatican City?
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[ A grim silence, just long enough to get awkward but just short enough before Yves has a chance to follow up. ]
I murdered someone. With a lot of power and influence.
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it's a little awkward with the piggyback... but yves will bring a hand up to run through marcoh's hair, trying for soothing ]
... must've been scary. You don't have to tell me why you did it but... I trust you had a reason. You're not an aggressive person, Marcoh.
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He's quiet. Even though there's literally no getting away from Yves here unless he just straight up dumps the guy on the ground, which he won't do, there's suddenly a palpable recession and distance, a slight lowering of his head. ]
It was for Venere.
...He threatened her once, then kept doing it if I didn't listen.
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... then I think it's understandable. [ to do that for his sister, who he clearly loves so much ] He shouldn't have done that. Venere shouldn't have to put up with that.
Do... you regret it?
[ to feel this distance, the way that marcoh is retreating. what emotion is it? ]
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I only regret that the other danger she's in now, it is because of me.
Riccardo was the heir to the Accardo branch. His death won't go unnoticed, and they are never above playing dirty.
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[ a little hum of understanding, even as yves just lets his chin rest on marcoh's shoulder to try to look at his expression ]
I think getting out of the city you were in was the right move. If that's where their power is, I don't think they can follow you all that far.
... if he was bothering her, then you still gave her a chance at freedom, Marcoh. Even if it's a little risky. I hope you don't blame yourself too much when you're already doing everything you can to protect her.
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It wasn't just threats. He made me do things. I never intended to get caught up in that. But he did. I may not have been the best, but if I burn, it will have been because of him.
And I'd do it again if I saw him in Hell. I wouldn't hesitate.
[ ...
His shoulders get quite tense even as they walk, but he tries to push all that back down. ]
Not really very "redemption-minded" of me.
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even when he feels that tension, yves will just let his own hold around marcoh's shoulders tighten a little bit - not enough to be uncomfortable, but very much like he's trying to give him a hug from behind
it breaks his heart to hear it. the only pain yves ever knows is when he receives it secondhand from someone else, and feels the way it aches in his chest to hear the people he loves so dearly go through such suffering ]
... someone asked me this about my own situation but...
Have you ever thought that maybe your redemption is... forgiving yourself? Instead of forgiving him?
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...
The only ones who could forgive me are silent or dead.
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... you can forgive yourself. For the things that you were made to do, that you would have never chosen on your own. It might take time, and it might not be easy but... I suppose redemption isn't meant to be easy.
[ . . . ]
You don't deserve to burn, Marcoh. You really are very kind. And at the very least... I'll stay with you, until you arrive where you need to go.
[ back to life, with his sister ]
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Yves is right. Redemption was never meant to be easy. ]
...I think we're almost out. Then you can sit on a train, maybe have Lucas look at that leg.
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... Marcoh.
[ rests his head against marcoh's back ]
Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I still really love you, you know.
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