[ he's silent for a little too long, reluctant to put it into words or to feel the wash of shame that always comes with thinking about it. ]
The Tower has rules against using our powers. No one's allowed to. Iris could get away with it sometimes because he's Madam's son, but no one else had that privilege.
He knew that, and never even tried to stop using his powers. And he'd use them to give me stuff sometimes, so - if I just let him do that, I would have been complicit when we both knew better. He wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told him to stop, so I just stopped spending time with him.
... I'm sure you were scared at the idea of breaking the rules. And it sounds like you tried to warn him too, even though he was just trying to be a good friend to you...
[ ...yeah. there's the shame from being afraid, the guilt from abandoning iris without another word. they'd only been children, not even ten, but it's still fresh in his mind as if it were yesterday. there's an uncomfortable silence before he answers that probably gives him away. ]
I was. But he never cared about breaking the rules, and I got tired of dealing with it. It's not that complicated.
[ except that he missed iris, too, but he was never brave enough to stay. he's always been kind of a coward in that way. never wanting to leave the tower where it was safe, but never daring to challenge authority. ]
[ this hateful little callout. laurence draws back a little, eyes on the floor. ]
I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm going to help him because someone has to do it, but after that... It's none of my business what he does. He probably won't even want to see me, anyway.
[ he's tense. because iris, even just talking about him, somehow always manages to put laurence on the defensive. ]
There's no reason he should.
[ except that iris is really just like that. even just a day after they fought, he still smiled so brightly at the idea that laurence might be worried, even though he was the one who punched iris in the first place.
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Just that... I get that expressing yourself in the words you want can be hard.
But I'm glad you're still open to people trying to reach out to you.
[ like yves hasn't had any difficulties, really ]
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...I don't have issues with that! That was just about Iris!
[ doesn't acknowledge the second part because he doesn't!! want to!!! ]
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[ laurence your ex-bestie... ]
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We used to be friends. What's so complicated about that?
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[ gently and slowly, like yves is trying to piece it together in real time ]
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[ stubbornly sticks to his guns even though he's wrong to do so ]
But I don’t have to be friends with someone to not want them getting hurt or something. That’s all it is.
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[ just idly wondering
yves had his own friends who stopped being his friends in childhood, but that was... different ]
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The Tower has rules against using our powers. No one's allowed to. Iris could get away with it sometimes because he's Madam's son, but no one else had that privilege.
He knew that, and never even tried to stop using his powers. And he'd use them to give me stuff sometimes, so - if I just let him do that, I would have been complicit when we both knew better. He wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told him to stop, so I just stopped spending time with him.
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[ yves looks thoughtful about that, quiet. ]
... I'm sure you were scared at the idea of breaking the rules. And it sounds like you tried to warn him too, even though he was just trying to be a good friend to you...
It sounds... complicated.
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I was. But he never cared about breaking the rules, and I got tired of dealing with it. It's not that complicated.
[ except that he missed iris, too, but he was never brave enough to stay. he's always been kind of a coward in that way. never wanting to leave the tower where it was safe, but never daring to challenge authority. ]
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... I think we end up talking about him an awful lot, for something that isn't supposed to be complicated.
So... it's okay if it is, you know?
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I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm going to help him because someone has to do it, but after that... It's none of my business what he does. He probably won't even want to see me, anyway.
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I don't expect you to say anything. [ gently, sweetly ] But I also think... you should let yourself be surprised if he does want to see you.
You are a sweet person, Laurence. Even if it can feel awkward or clumsy at times. Nothing you've said makes me doubt that for even a second.
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There's no reason he should.
[ except that iris is really just like that. even just a day after they fought, he still smiled so brightly at the idea that laurence might be worried, even though he was the one who punched iris in the first place.
he still doesn't get it. ]
...You think that way of just about everyone.
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[ JUST TO CLEAR THAT UP ]
I promise that I like you in a way that's accurate. Even if it might not feel like it.
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[ don't just call a guy sweet? ]