[The apology tugs at him. Makes him pull a face, wag his head side to side.]
I'm not mad at you, Yves, come on. You were trying your best to fix a bad situation, but the solution you had was a damn distasteful one.
It's not right to think your life is worth less than anyone else's. It bothers me that you're chomping at the bit to throw it away. Wouldn't you get worried, hearing those words out of someone else's mouth?
... but I don't. [ softly ] I don't think my life is worth less than anyone else's. But... I understand Jiao that sometimes, when you see a reason, it can be one that's worth laying down your life for.
[ it's how he ended up here in the first place. always ready to die that hero's death, even if he never wants to be called as much ]
Today felt like a reason to me. And I think... I would've been angrier at myself if I didn't at least offer.
...You don't seem convinced you're deserving of much, at times. [The way he talks about himself. How shocked he is that Adolphe gave him the time of day. The way his folks had treated him, the rest of the island — sure, it'd give anyone a complex. It's just not something Richie wants to hear out of a baby's mouth.
He's a man, but only just barely. Too young to be giving more up than he already has.]
Look, I can get it, Yves. I do understand. You want to spare people pain. And they're going through pure hell right now, I know.
But Hawke...at the end of the day, was he in his right mind? Would it have been better to let him live, if it turned out he was going to keep being a danger to other people?
Our hands are being forced here, don't get me wrong. If I had my way it'd be incarceration and a real court to try the case, no execution or bumbling civilian votes at all. But with the way things are, it's not gonna shake out in anyone's favour. That kind of offer only makes things more tangled up. It's not saving anyone so much as putting another snarl in the knot.
[ what is he deserving of? he doesn't know. all he knows is that he tries, and he tries. and sometimes he tries so hard that he loses sight of what he actually wants. ]
... I know. I also voted for him. And I think that's a reasonable way to vote. I just...
[ a beat ]
On Friday, I felt what it was like to lose someone that you hold so dearly. I care about both Anders and Garrett. I wouldn't want them to experience that... and maybe a cure could've been found. If I could buy them a little bit more time, that would've been enough for me.
I won't do it again. I don't mean to disrupt things. But... in the position Anders was in... if he wanted a third option, I thought I could at least offer.
[Richie takes it in with a drawn face. His mouth quirks at the mention of Friday — this same wide-eyed expression had been blotched red and tacky with old tears. Hurtful stuff. This is too, the earnestness with which he says it. Simple truth.
All he can do at the end is press his lips together in a thin smile. Put the cigarette between them before he reaches for his shoulder, gives it a good squeeze.]
You're good kid, Yves. You've got a real big heart. You're just apt to give us all gray hairs.
[He takes a drag and lets him go, blowing smoke in the other direction and pinching at his nose with a wince.]
We'll see what all happens next week. I don't think anyone's under the illusion that it's still just a tragic coincidence.
[ to be told that he's going to be a stressful person to look after. he does know it about himself, but his usual babysitter isn't here. the back-up one is now also dead.
uh oh!
but he nods slowly at the mention of... next week ]
... when you're feeling a little better, do you want to try to figure out self-defense tactics, Monsieur Richie? Just in case.
It's okay. Don't apologize. [Now he feels like an asshole. Man.] There's far worse things to be than a bleeding heart. Believe me.
[Or maybe he doesn't have to. He's seen enough cruelty to last a lifetime. He's got an attitude about personal tragedy that would make him a daytime talk show darling, oh he can just see the sob circuit he'd run on cable. Kid's been through enough and still came out sunny as the top of July. How does that figure?
At this last though, he pulls a face.]
...Let's table it for the moment. I'm still a long ways away from throwing a bad punch, much less a competent one.
[Neither yes nor a no. He really can't bear the idea of emasculating himself with one arm and shit form in a self-defense class right now. Especially ones administered by people half his age. Just let him die instead.]
Let's just head to bed, all right? It's been a doozy and a half. I'm beat, and I'll bet you are too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
yves will just wander over at some point - he was probably heading for the garden but he gets distracted ]
Monsieur Richie...?
no subject
Hey kiddo.
no subject
... you okay?
no subject
...What about you?
no subject
... don't think the pains today are just physical.
[ a little contemplative pause ]
I'm okay. Though... I'm sorry if you're mad at me.
no subject
That they ain't, me boy, that they ain't.
[The apology tugs at him. Makes him pull a face, wag his head side to side.]
I'm not mad at you, Yves, come on. You were trying your best to fix a bad situation, but the solution you had was a damn distasteful one.
It's not right to think your life is worth less than anyone else's. It bothers me that you're chomping at the bit to throw it away. Wouldn't you get worried, hearing those words out of someone else's mouth?
no subject
[ it's how he ended up here in the first place. always ready to die that hero's death, even if he never wants to be called as much ]
Today felt like a reason to me. And I think... I would've been angrier at myself if I didn't at least offer.
no subject
He's a man, but only just barely. Too young to be giving more up than he already has.]
Look, I can get it, Yves. I do understand. You want to spare people pain. And they're going through pure hell right now, I know.
But Hawke...at the end of the day, was he in his right mind? Would it have been better to let him live, if it turned out he was going to keep being a danger to other people?
Our hands are being forced here, don't get me wrong. If I had my way it'd be incarceration and a real court to try the case, no execution or bumbling civilian votes at all. But with the way things are, it's not gonna shake out in anyone's favour. That kind of offer only makes things more tangled up. It's not saving anyone so much as putting another snarl in the knot.
no subject
... I know. I also voted for him. And I think that's a reasonable way to vote. I just...
[ a beat ]
On Friday, I felt what it was like to lose someone that you hold so dearly. I care about both Anders and Garrett. I wouldn't want them to experience that... and maybe a cure could've been found. If I could buy them a little bit more time, that would've been enough for me.
I won't do it again. I don't mean to disrupt things. But... in the position Anders was in... if he wanted a third option, I thought I could at least offer.
no subject
All he can do at the end is press his lips together in a thin smile. Put the cigarette between them before he reaches for his shoulder, gives it a good squeeze.]
You're good kid, Yves. You've got a real big heart. You're just apt to give us all gray hairs.
[He takes a drag and lets him go, blowing smoke in the other direction and pinching at his nose with a wince.]
We'll see what all happens next week. I don't think anyone's under the illusion that it's still just a tragic coincidence.
no subject
[ to be told that he's going to be a stressful person to look after. he does know it about himself, but his usual babysitter isn't here. the back-up one is now also dead.
uh oh!
but he nods slowly at the mention of... next week ]
... when you're feeling a little better, do you want to try to figure out self-defense tactics, Monsieur Richie? Just in case.
no subject
[Or maybe he doesn't have to. He's seen enough cruelty to last a lifetime. He's got an attitude about personal tragedy that would make him a daytime talk show darling, oh he can just see the sob circuit he'd run on cable. Kid's been through enough and still came out sunny as the top of July. How does that figure?
At this last though, he pulls a face.]
...Let's table it for the moment. I'm still a long ways away from throwing a bad punch, much less a competent one.
[Neither yes nor a no. He really can't bear the idea of emasculating himself with one arm and shit form in a self-defense class right now. Especially ones administered by people half his age. Just let him die instead.]
Let's just head to bed, all right? It's been a doozy and a half. I'm beat, and I'll bet you are too.