[ They made him work down to the bone when he was coughing up blood and, crucially, robbed him of his last moments with his sister. There is no universe in which Marcoh will feel bad for snapping Lucas out of all that. ]
Anders told me about how he can do something called "spirit healing". I am not sure if it would work, but maybe.
[ It might just be normal-ass fantasy healing for all Marcoh knows but doesn't the name sound promising as fuck. ]
......I thought about it, if things could be better. [ At the least, a different situation of Termina, but still back to Prehevil so he could help out Olivia, Tanaka, Marina. ] But Wis'adel mentioned we don't know what happens to the "old timeline", so.
[ Cannot emphasise enough that I, OOCly, am in shambles because that basically means Marcoh is going STRAIGHT back to hell but! Everything is fine. ]
I can't let that happen. It means that in that world, I would have abandoned Venere.
[ Since he died and she would just be alone, never knowing what became of him. Probably have to assume the worst, that the Family got him, except they never did. And then what? So he has to go back to the exact one he left. ]
[ Help me he would not say no to just stocking up on some goofy-ass items. He has had a preview of what Prehevil is like and he does think that if he is here anyway, then he should stock up properly! Casts balding curse on random murderhand villagers in Prehevil. ]
I am. No reason for anybody to come back with me.
[ And Uruha can't, so. A thought that does hurt him; he'd love for Uruha to come to Rondon with him but he knows he has his duty that he can't abandon, and the weight of it is something Marcoh can't -- in good conscience -- try to convince him to abandon. Life is hard when you're good people. But also it would like, require a certain degree of being able to choose when Uruha would be able to come over since Marcoh also would not like him to suddenly be counted as a contestant of Termina... ]
[ yea yea exactly just turn everyone in prehevil into a chao ]
... you should definitely at least take things with you... If Adolphe doesn't need all his stuff, I'll make him give it to you. [ JUST GIVES AWAY ADOLPHE'S STUFF WITHOUT ASKINGGGG yves you are so annoying
but also
this is a little devastating to him ]
... Uruha really can't? [ he's going to just ask the brackets part out loud, frowning ] I guess... he really is dedicated to his duty...
[ they've had that conversation too and yves is seeing the impacts real time on his marcoh.... nooooooooo ]
[ HELP ME there's a stray thought of 'did Adolphe say that was okay. based on what I know about you two I don't think you asked'
But. Yeah. There's just a wave of -- it's not even dull, it's definitely pained, not because of anything Uruha did but by the circumstance. It's actively devastating and he's trying everything he can to keep it down, focus on what remaining good he can scrape together in the time they have left without any guarantee of being able to see each other again. He's trying not to give up hope, and if he's going to have a heartbreakdown about it, it can be after he's left. ]
[ he did not ask........ don't worry about it marcoh...... doesn't matter...............
but. ah.
yves feels that wave of pain come in, and there's a moment where he's briefly stunned by it. he knows that the goodbyes will come, and they will continue to eat at him, but... he is also so, so practiced at farewells. and if these ones aren't by death, to him that's a mercy. the reality of separation wars against his innate optimism and morbid adaptability.
I can't go to his because I need to go back for Venere. [ And he's not sure if Uruha would... even let him? Considering the Hishaku are crazy and all. ] He can't come to Rondon with me because he can't abandon the people that gave their lives for him, and risk more.
[ And that's definitely not something he can just ask Uruha to abandon. Similar to how Uruha wouldn't ask Marcoh to leave Venere on her own. So.
It's unfortunate, inescapable, but it's also very them. ]
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[ He does not think breaking someone's chains is the same thing as putting them into it to begin with. ]
Not unless you think forcing someone to accept bandages is the same as harming them in the first place.
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... no, I think... you do have a point.
[ but doing so by force still feels so strange to him ]
I guess... I'll have to see if that's even an option.
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Anders told me about how he can do something called "spirit healing". I am not sure if it would work, but maybe.
[ It might just be normal-ass fantasy healing for all Marcoh knows but doesn't the name sound promising as fuck. ]
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... I'll ask then.
I'd like to try all I can, since... I won't be going home with him.
[ and normally he's at peace with that. he really is. but right now? there is still that cloud of uncertainty and guilt that's making it murky ]
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You have not changed your mind?
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... no. [ shakes his head ] Well, it's more like I finally came to a solid decision.
I think if I were to go back... it'd feel wrong for a lot of reasons, and the only thing pulling me would be a sense of responsibility.
[ but if I already died for them, then isn't that enough? how much more does he have to prove his loyalty? ]
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If that is what you have settled with, then that's good.
[ As long as Yves is happy with his decision... and doesn't have to witness Lucas going on a Rampage 2.0 or whatever, I guess. ]
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anyway yves just smiles, feeling encouraged by marcoh's validation ]
What about you, Marcoh? Excited to see Venere again soon?
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Of course.
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I don't want to abandon the people I've met for a "better" timeline.
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You're a really wonderful person, Marcoh.
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[ Cannot emphasise enough that I, OOCly, am in shambles because that basically means Marcoh is going STRAIGHT back to hell but! Everything is fine. ]
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... I guess we don't. I sort of just... assumed that it would proceed on without me.
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[ Since he died and she would just be alone, never knowing what became of him. Probably have to assume the worst, that the Family got him, except they never did. And then what? So he has to go back to the exact one he left. ]
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[ softly ]
I know that's a risk that neither of you can take... Are you going back alone...? Will you take nothing from here with you?
[ what if he just
stocks up on bandaids there are so many just floating out there ]
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I am. No reason for anybody to come back with me.
[ And Uruha can't, so. A thought that does hurt him; he'd love for Uruha to come to Rondon with him but he knows he has his duty that he can't abandon, and the weight of it is something Marcoh can't -- in good conscience -- try to convince him to abandon. Life is hard when you're good people. But also it would like, require a certain degree of being able to choose when Uruha would be able to come over since Marcoh also would not like him to suddenly be counted as a contestant of Termina... ]
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... you should definitely at least take things with you... If Adolphe doesn't need all his stuff, I'll make him give it to you. [ JUST GIVES AWAY ADOLPHE'S STUFF WITHOUT ASKINGGGG yves you are so annoying
but also
this is a little devastating to him ]
... Uruha really can't? [ he's going to just ask the brackets part out loud, frowning ] I guess... he really is dedicated to his duty...
[ they've had that conversation too and yves is seeing the impacts real time on his marcoh.... nooooooooo ]
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But. Yeah. There's just a wave of -- it's not even dull, it's definitely pained, not because of anything Uruha did but by the circumstance. It's actively devastating and he's trying everything he can to keep it down, focus on what remaining good he can scrape together in the time they have left without any guarantee of being able to see each other again. He's trying not to give up hope, and if he's going to have a heartbreakdown about it, it can be after he's left. ]
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but. ah.
yves feels that wave of pain come in, and there's a moment where he's briefly stunned by it. he knows that the goodbyes will come, and they will continue to eat at him, but... he is also so, so practiced at farewells. and if these ones aren't by death, to him that's a mercy. the reality of separation wars against his innate optimism and morbid adaptability.
so he'll just ask this time— ]
Can I give you a hug, Marcoh?
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[ so painfully sincere but also opening his arms and reaching up to pull marcoh into a warm little embrace ]
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[ He does hug him back in his old, never-changing way. ]
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[ and that is also unflinching and sincere ]
... is it one of those things that you're afraid to talk about, because you're not sure how you'll feel if you start letting the cracks show?
Or is it something you don't know you have the words for?
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I can't go to his because I need to go back for Venere. [ And he's not sure if Uruha would... even let him? Considering the Hishaku are crazy and all. ] He can't come to Rondon with me because he can't abandon the people that gave their lives for him, and risk more.
[ And that's definitely not something he can just ask Uruha to abandon. Similar to how Uruha wouldn't ask Marcoh to leave Venere on her own. So.
It's unfortunate, inescapable, but it's also very them. ]
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