[ yves places a hand on laurence's shoulder, but his own expression is even. that was his end, and he's not surprised to see it. but in the end... he did choose it. he did end up making that decision. ]
.... yeah. [ a nod ] I chose it.
I accomplished what I needed to in order to save the people I loved. I'm content with that.
[ but it's still terribly sad, laurence thinks. to accomplish what you set out for is great, but - at a cost like that? killing someone you'd considered a friend, just to die alone?
[ yves is pretty sure that's the case but - for laurence's sake, he stops and tries to think about it. tries to make sure the answer he's giving is right and fair and he's not surrendering prematurely ]
... he had to be stopped. I couldn't talk any sense into him, and if Ceres couldn't then no one could.
So we stormed the Institute, but... after all the fighting, I was the only one left alive to finish things.
I don't think I could've won... but this is the only way I didn't lose.
I'm glad you did what you meant to do, but... I'm sorry it had to be like that at all.
[ for all the loss. for his own death, too, and how it had to happen. the guy may have dived off the deep end, but they were still friends once, right? ]
laurence you lil crybaby. (yves is also a crybaby.) he watches the memory and just gently ruffles laurence's hair then, affectionate ]
... she's wise.
[ that sweet woman (also she's the most elderly person yves has ever seen and he's going to process that later. why do adults shrink when old? so strange) ]
[ he's silent for a little too long, reluctant to put it into words or to feel the wash of shame that always comes with thinking about it. ]
The Tower has rules against using our powers. No one's allowed to. Iris could get away with it sometimes because he's Madam's son, but no one else had that privilege.
He knew that, and never even tried to stop using his powers. And he'd use them to give me stuff sometimes, so - if I just let him do that, I would have been complicit when we both knew better. He wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told him to stop, so I just stopped spending time with him.
... I'm sure you were scared at the idea of breaking the rules. And it sounds like you tried to warn him too, even though he was just trying to be a good friend to you...
[ ...yeah. there's the shame from being afraid, the guilt from abandoning iris without another word. they'd only been children, not even ten, but it's still fresh in his mind as if it were yesterday. there's an uncomfortable silence before he answers that probably gives him away. ]
I was. But he never cared about breaking the rules, and I got tired of dealing with it. It's not that complicated.
[ except that he missed iris, too, but he was never brave enough to stay. he's always been kind of a coward in that way. never wanting to leave the tower where it was safe, but never daring to challenge authority. ]
[ this hateful little callout. laurence draws back a little, eyes on the floor. ]
I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm going to help him because someone has to do it, but after that... It's none of my business what he does. He probably won't even want to see me, anyway.
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.... yeah. [ a nod ] I chose it.
I accomplished what I needed to in order to save the people I loved. I'm content with that.
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he bites his lip. ]
Okay. But... there was really no other way?
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... he had to be stopped. I couldn't talk any sense into him, and if Ceres couldn't then no one could.
So we stormed the Institute, but... after all the fighting, I was the only one left alive to finish things.
I don't think I could've won... but this is the only way I didn't lose.
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I'm glad you did what you meant to do, but... I'm sorry it had to be like that at all.
[ for all the loss. for his own death, too, and how it had to happen. the guy may have dived off the deep end, but they were still friends once, right? ]
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Me too. I... wish there could've been another way that didn't result in things like that.
But because that's what I had to deal with, I could only rely on the answers I could think of.
[ even if it meant dying for it ]
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[ small mercies. very small. ]
But I... I wish you didn't have to lose anyone else, after all that.
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Me too.
[ even though adolphe is already gone again ]
But... we do have to keep going. I'll do my best to keep going.
[ also give mem holds hand out ]
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It sounds like there's still a chance that their souls can be found again. So maybe it's not over yet.
[ laurence isn't really one for hope, but... maybe it's out there.
and since you asked so nicely, have mem. ]
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laurence you lil crybaby. (yves is also a crybaby.) he watches the memory and just gently ruffles laurence's hair then, affectionate ]
... she's wise.
[ that sweet woman (also she's the most elderly person yves has ever seen and he's going to process that later. why do adults shrink when old? so strange) ]
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She's a pain in the ass, just like Iris.
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Just that... I get that expressing yourself in the words you want can be hard.
But I'm glad you're still open to people trying to reach out to you.
[ like yves hasn't had any difficulties, really ]
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...I don't have issues with that! That was just about Iris!
[ doesn't acknowledge the second part because he doesn't!! want to!!! ]
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[ laurence your ex-bestie... ]
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We used to be friends. What's so complicated about that?
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[ gently and slowly, like yves is trying to piece it together in real time ]
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[ stubbornly sticks to his guns even though he's wrong to do so ]
But I don’t have to be friends with someone to not want them getting hurt or something. That’s all it is.
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[ just idly wondering
yves had his own friends who stopped being his friends in childhood, but that was... different ]
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The Tower has rules against using our powers. No one's allowed to. Iris could get away with it sometimes because he's Madam's son, but no one else had that privilege.
He knew that, and never even tried to stop using his powers. And he'd use them to give me stuff sometimes, so - if I just let him do that, I would have been complicit when we both knew better. He wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told him to stop, so I just stopped spending time with him.
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[ yves looks thoughtful about that, quiet. ]
... I'm sure you were scared at the idea of breaking the rules. And it sounds like you tried to warn him too, even though he was just trying to be a good friend to you...
It sounds... complicated.
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I was. But he never cared about breaking the rules, and I got tired of dealing with it. It's not that complicated.
[ except that he missed iris, too, but he was never brave enough to stay. he's always been kind of a coward in that way. never wanting to leave the tower where it was safe, but never daring to challenge authority. ]
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... I think we end up talking about him an awful lot, for something that isn't supposed to be complicated.
So... it's okay if it is, you know?
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I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm going to help him because someone has to do it, but after that... It's none of my business what he does. He probably won't even want to see me, anyway.
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I don't expect you to say anything. [ gently, sweetly ] But I also think... you should let yourself be surprised if he does want to see you.
You are a sweet person, Laurence. Even if it can feel awkward or clumsy at times. Nothing you've said makes me doubt that for even a second.
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