yves & claude

[noirges]

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week 1, saturday

[noirges]

[ well

it's trial day so yves approaches with his trusty lil basket wherever claude is ]

... did you still want to hang out?

[midway]

[ Oh, is this tradition? ]

Is this our tradition now?

[noirges]

It is if you want it to be.

[ like yves didn't just sign up to die a few hours ago ]

[midway]

[ ...

Shaking his head. ]

I really don't understand you, Yves.

[noirges]

[ if he's being honest? ] Most people don't.

[ . . . ]

Are you unhappy with me?

[midway]

I don't know.

[ It's a weird, agitated feeling. A bad taste in his mouth. ]

[noirges]

[ . . . ]

Can we sit and talk about it over drinks?

[ like he's wondering if he's pushing his luck ]

[midway]

I don't have a problem with that.

[noirges]

[ yippee

then assuming they're out somewhere in the void, yves will bring them over to the gazebo so they can sit. he'll start by pouring the wine for them both, and then offers claude a glass ]

Is it because of what I said?

[midway]

[ Nice! Accepts it, and leans back. ]

Yeah, that's right.

[noirges]

Are you going to make me guess why?

[ why claude specifically would be unhappy about yves making the offer? ]

I guess I can but... I would like to hear it from you. Just so that I don't misunderstand.

[midway]

[ He takes a sip, thoughtful. Frustrated. ]

I guess I was just taken aback by how cruel it was.

[noirges]

Cruel of me... to offer?

[ curious, a little confused - but at least not defensive ]

[midway]

[ He hums. ]

That's right. I don't think it's fair to think that... But I do.

[noirges]

[ a little smile, understanding ]

You don't have to be fair when you're annoyed at a friend, Claude.

[ but he'll keep asking, trying to make sure he gets it ]

Was I cruel to... Anders? You? Everyone?

[midway]

[ Look, he's not obsessed with justice like Anders, but he prefers rationality and objectivity. ]

I can't speak for Anders, but it seemed like to both him and the others from where I was standing.

[noirges]

[ hmmm

he just smiles a little sadly at that ]

... I didn't mean to be cruel. I just thought our circumstances were too much for me to stand. If that was the case, I wanted to let others have an option of voting someone who wouldn't be upset with them... because I think I'd be more upset with myself if I didn't offer at all.

But I can see where I made things muddier. I'm sorry.

And even if you just say others... I'm sorry for being cruel to you, too.

[midway]

[ He's quiet a moment. ]

I don't know if I want an apology, if you don't believe what you did was wrong.

[noirges]

[ looks thoughtful about it ]

Can I think an action is both right and wrong?

[midway]

I'm not opposed to nuance, but I think it's a case by case situation.

So, what do you mean?

[noirges]

I think it’s wrong to make people worry that I don’t value my life, or to make you all think I don’t want to be here with you. That my care has been insincere. I also think it’s wrong to give people another impossible option that they would hate themselves for taking, like removing an entirely innocent life.

[ which he is despite my constant attempts at being suspicious ]

So for those reasons, I think I can see how what I did is more wrong than right in the aftermath.

[ a beat, and he frowns ]

But I don’t think leaving Anders between the impossible decision of voting for a girl who acted in self-defense and voting for someone he loves is right.

[ he runs a hand through his hair, now frustrated ]

… I don’t like thinking about things in wrong or right either. But I don’t want you to think I’m cruel… but if I am, then…

[ what leg does he have to stand on? ]

[midway]

That Anders was in a difficult situation makes your reaction understandable. That's not the same as being right.

[ For all the reasons Yves mentioned. ]

I get it. I get not wanting to see someone hurt, and wanting to give whatever it takes to help. And I get making that decision without thinking how an entire room full of people will take it.

[ Takes another sip, feeling tired. ]

... I don't know. It's not like it's my place to say what you can and can't do.

[noirges]

[ he doesn't think anything anyone can do here is right or wrong. he's not as good at being objective. every decision hurts someone, and tonight was proof enough of that.

when it comes down to it, he's not sure if he and claude can see eye to eye on what he did. he's also not entirely sure that matters when at the core of it— ]

But your opinion matters to me. And if I upset you, I do want to know.

And I do want to make things better... if there's a way to.

[ claude being unhappy with him feels so unbelievably bad ]

[midway]

[ His finger taps against the glass, still agitated. Still finding it so hard to put the emotions into words. ]

I don't think it should matter so much. My opinion, that is.

[ ... ]

I'm not as selfless a person as you.

[noirges]

If you didn't want your opinion to matter so much to me, you shouldn't have let me like you so much.

[ claude's fault? but also... sincere. he'll then try to bridge some of that gap, reaching for claude's hand that's not tapping the glass. ]

... but I don't want you to be. I don't want anyone to be. No one should be like me.