Neither are mine. At least I found a couple decent people to spar with, but I can't do that 24/7 either, you know? Being dead really is a little boring!
I've always known what I am. Besides-- I like myself just fine that way, and I don't really feel like changing it, even if some little freak lizard disagrees.
Then I guess you think like they do. They were saying some of the same things, like... whether there's a hard limit to what someone can have done and still get redeemed, or whether having complicated circumstances changes that limit.
All this to say... if there's anything I can do to help you, Wiš'adel, please let me know. I want you to return to life, but I don't want you to have to sacrifice being you either.
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week 2, wednesday
yves has a bouquet for her and tiny one for her chao,, ]
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[she's just around the mansion right now! the chao is not with her, though.]
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[ though he sounds amused ]
It just felt wrong to bring your chao something to dote on them but nothing for you.
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[can't believe this is the first time anyone has ever given her flowers...]
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[ even still he will offer her a bouquet... ]
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[she just
does not look at the bulletin board.
she'll accept the bouquet, though, even though she's looking at these flowers like what do you even Do with these,]
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[ and when she looks confused at the flowers he adds - ]
It's mostly for decoration, and they do smell nice. When they wilt, you can always press them into a book to keep.
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[but decoration is fine. they won't look bad in her room.]
I get that you'd probably do something like that even without a note, buuuut I'll pass.
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[ but he doesn't seem fussed either way... just an example ]
But that's fair enough. I think I've just been looking for things to do... my days normally aren't this free.
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Do you think that you don't...?
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Because I... don't like the idea of people feeling like they have to be 'better' either.
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I've never been a 'good person'. Being dead for a couple months isn't likely to change that.
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It's not fair to judge by a simple measure when life is anything but.
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If someone's lived a truly horrible life with difficult circumstances and making decisions that others might not like is the only way to survive...
How can they be held to the same level as someone who had an easier time...?
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[ it'd be nice but ]
All this to say... if there's anything I can do to help you, Wiš'adel, please let me know. I want you to return to life, but I don't want you to have to sacrifice being you either.
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[she exhales a huff, with that. worry less about her!]
It's not like I was going to live a long life anyway, if I don't get to give it another shot.
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And I feel like... people who are more attached to life than I am should get a better shot.
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I died in a battle that I chose to die in, because it was the best way to accomplish my goals. So I killed my friend and he killed me.
But even before that... I've lost pretty much everyone that I've considered a friend. So... it's a little hard to convince myself to go back.
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